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The Black Armored Knight
by Eugenia Buskova (Age: 19)
copyright 01-20-2006


Age Rating: 7 to 127

 
From the dark woods of evil
Ran the black armour knight
As he strikes through the devil
It runs away in fright.

Careful of the devil's claws
As it runs through the village
Beware of the giant bird, Adaws
As it drinks the blood as beverage.

From the devil's heart and soul
There, runs the black armour knight
To complete his heroic goal
To kill the giant bird, Adaws

From the dark woods of evil
Ran the black armour knight
As he strikes through the bird, Adaws
Of the speed of shining light.


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01-25-2006 Anne-marie Hewlett    

Love it, love it, love it :D
01-20-2006 David Pekrul    

As the others have said, this is a good poem, but I would like to give you one suggestion to make it better. It would flow better if it was totally written in 'present tense' rather than back and forth the way it is written now.

Example, the first stanza could read,
"From the dark woods of evil
Runs the black armour knight
As he strikes through the devil
It runs away in fright".

One other suggestion: You use the words "The Black Armour knight". Would it not be better to use "The Black Armoured Knight". Using 'black armour' makes it sound like that is his official title, whereas 'black armoured' sounds like a knight covered in black armour, which is how I think you intended it to be.

Anyway, these are just suggestions.
Keep on writing,
David Pekrul
Visitor Reads: 382
Total Reads: 415
Comments: 2

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