Holding this Hand
by
James Shammas
(Age: 44)
copyright 03-01-2005
Age Rating: 10 to 127
Strange how his hand looked, as I wiped the ice cream off his sticky fingers, shaped like my father's, but softer and smaller, beefy and plump. I can still see them pulling off his watch, before he duked it out with the thug from Bushwick or the wise-guy from Flatbush. Staring at my boy's was like being there, watching a John Wayne movie. (He died too, two-fisted and true blue.) I can't recall if I ever held it; may have grazed it once, when he smacked my head or grabbed me by the arm. Did I ever feel it-- the skin? Maybe when they laid him out, hard and cold, still looking tough and bold. Now, feeling Chris'-- warm and smooth-- I feel the urge to squeeze it, holding it tighter while crossing the street, unaware whose it is or why it matters: my hand has its wisdom; it feels more than it can touch, reaching more that it has ever known.
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It's amazing how many memories one touch can bring up. I really liked the theme behind this, the story you wrote, and the way you did it. Great job, James. This is a beautiful, heart felt work, filled with nostalgia.
I married right out of high school and the marrage didn't last. Her father had money and I got the back door slamed in my face. It took about seven years to get the kids back for two weeks a year. My new wife always laughs at us when we all are together. She says we all walk the exact same way, take the same stride and lean the same too. Who taught them to walk like me? That was a long time ago now, but this made that come back very vividly! Thanks, Anthony
Oh lord. was it not a bit frightening to look down and all of a sudden see your father in your son? And to wonder, maybe, if you were doing enough to break the old cycles and sow the seeds that you want to flourish within him as you try to pull the weeds that you may have inadvertently planted, saved from your own past. I can see that you did think these things and squeezed your son's hand for reassurance....beautifully done.
It's amazing the things that bring back memories into one's mind. You have done a fine job with this. I read it over a number of time; it seemed to get better with each read.
Welcome !
