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Every birthday, she asked if I was happy she birthed me,
the miracle three pound "premee" who looked like a chicken,
the quiet wiz-kid who groped for answers
beginning with those heavy encyclopedia books
bending the tops of the dusty wood shelves built just for us.
At fourteen, she would grope me with a smile,
looking for hair in private places that made me her man,
so amusing when performed on "Baby Boy A," identical twin Dan.
Thereafter, I gave her valentines as young sons should,
speeding down high school hallways, freezing in front of
short skirts and fallen bra straps,
recalling Dad's only admonition to wear a condom on Saturday nights.
And at the top of my class, I toasted them both:
The thawing tears and slugged down cheers,
promising Dad that trip to Bimini when I made my first million
until he faded with an intoxicated wind,
his heart stopping one day, Mom's going strong
until I stopped sending valentines.
And so when she asked me with a sultry flair,
would I throw roses on her grave,
I replied with a white, frozen smile,
"If I could only reach past this chunk of dirt,
since it seems I who lie under clay and earth."
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