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The First I Really Saw his Face
by James Shammas (Age: 44)
copyright 03-29-2005


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
His face nestled there:
the fragrant cedar coffin,
sprayed with rainbow tears.




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06-10-2005 Brittney N. N.    

Very short but wll expressed.
06-05-2005 Brian Dickenson    

Well done, If ever the expression less is more applies, this is it.
What a wonderful way with words. Certainly inspires me to carry on writing.
Thank you, Brian
05-06-2005 Jean George    

Yes...Bittersweet is exactly the word, for your words left a bittersweet 'taste' in my mind. This is a wonderful senyru poem that has the layers of meaning one looks for in this form of poetry. The images combine to bring the human factor in line with nature;ex: the smell of cedar(nature), coffin (human), rainbow (nature),tears (human). This just says in exquisite simplicity that humanity is a part of nature and forever intertwined. Every word is perfect!
04-07-2005 Michelle Ackmann    

It's bittersweet that I didn't get to read something as fresh as this in Lit class. Sometimes the smallest amount of filled space is all that is necessary to attain greatness. This reminds me of something William Carlos Williams would write; something beautiful in only a few words. I love it!
03-30-2005 David Pekrul    

It takes a lot of talent to write a good Haiku. You certainly have it.
03-30-2005 Jack Curson    

You could make someone cry with this one. Excellent.
Visitor Reads: 475
Total Reads: 508
Comments: 6

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