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On Line
Jeanette Broussard
1 Writers

0 Free Members

1 Members
21 Guests

The feeling of the damn night.
by Duangchai Sut-un (Age: 32)
copyright 06-01-2005


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
I feel so down tonight.
Maybe something is not quite right.
I know how ..I have been raised.
Lowly thoughts, feeling unpraised.

When I was young and wore a smile
and around all kinds over the mile.
But now who I am, I feel so blind...
with all the shit I left behind.

......................................................

Thank you Anthony Lane Sthalhut for corrected my English writing.
I promise I will try to improve my English skill besides try to make a good poem.


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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06-25-2005 Brian Dickenson    

As has already been said, the first verse flows well.
Overall, the message comes across well.
To write in another language is difficult, to write poetry, is even harder.
I struggle with English, and this is my mother tongue.
You are coming along very well indeed.
Keep it up.
Brian.
06-25-2005 Paul Kangas    

Awww, This is a really good poem. The first verse is really an attention-grabber. Can't wait to see more of your writings. Good job!
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Comments: 2

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