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On Line
Vivien D.
Andrea P.
2 Writers

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2 Members
28 Guests

Summer
by Tina Z. (Age: 15)
copyright 05-20-2005


Age Rating: 4 to 127

 
Summer is a playful child,
Who wakes up with a smile of gold.
Who breathes the fresh air
And swallows it in.
Who glues all the leaves together
And turns off the shower
Because it was on during spring.
Summer is a playful child
Who eats breakfast
And is left with sticky fingers.
Who refuses to wear clothes
And wants to walk naked.
Who plays all day quietly.
Because he is saving his energy up for tomorrow.
Summer is a playful child all the time.
Even in the night, when he breathes a sigh of relief
And turns off the lights slowly
While the fireflies are trapped in the cieling.
Summer is a playful child, even in his dreams.


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04-27-2006 Paula T.    

*wipes tear from eyes*
this is a really adorable peace, because you gave summer a real personality, and I could see summer as a person and could imagine everything that happened in this poem happening during the summer, so you gave your characteristics of children during the summer, which was quite a smart move.
The only thing I didn't like was the line "Who breathes the fresh air
And swallows it in."
I thought that line didn't fit in there, and maybe if you changed it around a little bit, it would make more sense.
:)
Well, ciao, Tiiiinnnaaaa.
04-18-2006 Leigh G.    

It's an interesting piece. I never would of pictured summer as a playful and naked child though. You did very well with the descriptions and the metaphors, so I enjoyed that. It's something so hard to find in poems usually... I'm not much for the happy-go-lucky sort of poem, but I've decided to read all the works of some of the PnP authors. I think of summer as a time of freedom, fun, and less fighting between my parents for the abundance of money. Good work all the same, keep writing...

May the divine darkness be with you,
Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders
05-25-2005 Jean George    

A very interesting poem to read. You have used your metaphors well, they create some very good images when read. It is hard to write anything original about summer as it is a popular poetic subject, but you have managed to do this in a delightful way....
05-21-2005 Anthony Lane Stahlhut    

This is a nice poem . I enjoyed reading it! Anthony
05-20-2005 Sarah Mahler    

Lovely job~! I love all the decription/metaphors you use for Summer. It really helps the poem flow all the better.
Visitor Reads: 337
Total Reads: 356
Comments: 5

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