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White Snow
by
Jane L.
(Age: 14)
copyright 05-28-2005
Age Rating: 10 to 127
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Once I look at you,
Happiness explodes in me.
I'm not a child or a weak lamb anymore,
But I still love you.
At least I thought that way in my mind.
If you're here,
I feel as if all my problems,
Can disappear.
I can only hope that,
These days will continue forever.
The wind is shaking the window.
It shakes the night and wakes it.
These sad days,
I'll change your faint smile.
Though it's a bad day,
Down comes the snow.
It's probably piling,
Outside the window.
Without knowing,
It makes us farther away.
For somebody special,
I want to do something.
Now I think I know what love is.
Maybe if those happy times,
Could connect,
It would become the stars and shine.
Whenever, forever I'll always stay by your side.
For long the snow was falling.
That time I saw you correctly,
I was exploding with happiness.
I'm not a child or an weak lamb,
That time and place forever together.
The piled new white snow,
Can draw two people together.
Now and forever with you always...
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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04-30-2007 Leigh G.
I enjoyed this piece, even though I can only relate to half of it. Personally, my most recent experience with matters of the heart has been in a turmoil whether or not it's love or hate...-.- Although they're two very different emotions, sometimes it can be hard to see when these emotions change, and if they're the same overall feeling as they were before. That probably made no sense whatsoever, so time for the poetry analysis! You know me and capitals, so I won't go there in this comment, and my only flow/structure pick is that it doesn't flow as well as your other pieces. Still beautiful with a good choice of words, but not your best. I do like the theme of a faint smile, though. :) Good work, Jane! Keep writing!
Leigh of the Commenting Community
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06-18-2005 Andrew Findlay
I really liked this poem. I thought it was truly beautiful.
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06-08-2005 Mika L.
Great Job. =^^=
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05-31-2005 Cortney Jaruzel
Nice.
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05-29-2005 Anthony Lane Stahlhut
Love and hate are two strong emotions that left uncontrolled will effect everything you do. We learn to control our emotions with time so that we are not fooled by only one of our senses. When we are young, infatuation makes one feel love for others. Later we find that superficial feeling does not last because it may have been based on looks alone. You are young and love feels strong, enjoy it while it lasts, but be ready for some heart break along the way. Thanks, Anthony
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