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Golden Thread...
by Madeline C.
copyright 06-03-2005


Age Rating: 7 to 127

 
Spinning,hanging by a golden thread
I look down upon the town
No one can find me way up here
Where I can never we

Holding onto my golden thread
Held taunt by the sky above
I feel safe here,swaying in the wind
There is no other place that I love

Down and down,the town grows dark
As the rest of world
It must be asleep,so I must sleep too
As the clouds move and swirl

Clutching tightly to my golden thread
I'm still up very high
I tug my thread...just a little
And the sun spills it's light in the sky

Spinning,hanging by my golden thread
I look down upon the ground
Sprinkling little golden stars
Reach up to the sky,your own dreams you have found




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06-14-2005 Roger Crique    

I meant, "Golden thread," not "Golden threat!" Sorry.
06-14-2005 Roger Crique    

Sorry, Madeline, I forgot to give you your praise points. It won't happen again!

Roger
06-14-2005 Roger Crique    

Golden threat, hmm! I'm trying to picture someone hanging by a golden threat. You capitalized the word hanging, right after the word spinning. Hanging should not be capitalized. "Where I can never make a frown." I would say, "Where I can never frown." "Held tuat...." What is this word, "tuat?" "I tug my thread...just a little
And the sun spills it's light in the sky." This line, however is outstanding! This poem has the ingredients of being a very good poem. But you did not take your time with it and did not check it for errors. I suggest you clean it up a bit and take your time with your sentences. You will have written a great poem.



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