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It must be so hard feeling empty and wondering why one winds up where they are, and wondering whether one's history has any meaning. This is tough and takes courage to face. However, although I don't necessarily believe that "everything happens for a reason," I do believe the events in our lives have some significance and must be part of one's path. I'm told that the unpleasant person or unasked for problems are the "buddha in disguise" and that I can learn something from them; but I have to be open to see it that way. Tough, very tough.
It is the end of the race and the arms of the one you love that make the journey worth the effort. It's so sad that we let our relationships die. By always fighting life to get ahead and not spending the quality time with one another, we will tend to end up traveling in different directions. You must always keep the goal in sight. You must make sure the goal is what both want and hope life does not lead you astray. Sorry for the loss you both have gone through, Anthony