Sometimes we hold on to the little things.
We force ourselves to not let them go.
None is perfect, we're all human beings,
try to find forgiveness and let them know.
We all make the mistakes that we don't need,
for life can be so hard all on its own.
All our life, we work hard to succeed,
make happy who is inside our home.
Sometimes we say things that we do not mean
and we do what we do not want to do.
We fail to say what we think can be seen,
to let someone know how they feel to you.
Make your feelings known be sure that you say,
Two days tomorrow will be yesterday!
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I'm having trouble with this poem. The theme is very good with a decided excellent message. There is a real problem with the form. It is easy to tell that you know the metrical pattern of the sonnet, but you have forced the metre. By shifting from the iamb to the trochee in stanza two, you have forced the iamb onto words that in language are the emphasized words in ordinary speech. For example: "building a family" reads tum ta ta tum ta ta. If you read this as iambic puts the emphasis on the syllables "-ing" and forces the word family into three syllables. This word usually reads as two syllables. (that is in my dialect,middle America) the same goes for "making a home." The spelling of the possessive form of the pronoun it is spelled "its" no apostrophe, Your couplet at the end is just great! This needs tweaking.
How true! I just found out today that an old friend would have loved nothing more than to hear the words I kept bottled up inside all these years. And now, our paths too far apart to entwine, we are left with "what ifs" and "could have beens"... by all means, if you mean it... say it! I really like the end of your poem, "Two days tomorrow will be yesterday!" Again... how true!
At times we all think that others can read our minds and just know what we think, how we feel. To give voice to our thoughts sounds so simple and easy but often seems to be the hardest thing to do. Very nicely written and thought-provoking.
Great message. The last line says it all, and puts a nice perspective on how time shouldn't matter when it comes to saying the things that need to be said.
Welcome !
