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Trapped
by Andrew Findlay (Age: 37)
copyright 06-22-2005


Age Rating: 10 to 127

  Trapped
Picture Credits:

Trapped by expectations and blind disarray
The endless circles of doubt leverage the chasm
Empty vessels of putrid flesh surround me
Unknowing eyes perceive nothing of the terror

Trapped by blooming fears and aging insecurities
Hateful circumstance fills my hollow days
Uncaring damaged souls fill the dark night
Jealous light burns through my aching eyes

Trapped by lost hopes and frozen dreams
Mocking happiness rings in my frightened ears
Sarcastic joy surrounds my darkened shell
Unfulfilled potential clings to my withered soul


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06-24-2005 Michelle Ackmann    

Andrew,
What a great poem!! It's real and truly mirrors what may be in our souls. I can't wait to read more!!!
06-22-2005 Jenna T.    

Wow. I really have never seen this side of you before! Awesome poem, Andrew! I'm going to be writing some negative poems lately, just letting you know, because I'm sad some of my friends won't be returning to my school next year. LOL sorry to get off subject. This poem is excellent!!!!!! Keep it up!

Jenna T.
06-22-2005 Deone Wiley    

I submitted before Ihad finished. The theme was suggested and not blugeoned is well done.
06-22-2005 Deone Wiley    

This is a well done free verse poem. By starting each stanza with the word "trapped" you set up the repetition structure of the poem. By using the trochee in each beginning syllable of each line you add power to the line and the poem. Again a well done piece of repetition. Then by switching to the iamb for the last metrical foot you add emphasis and strength to the last word of each line. Did you plan this? This is real insight in structure. I repeat. Well done.
Visitor Reads: 347
Total Reads: 384
Comments: 4

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