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On Line
Selena M.
Mary -BrytEyz- Ball
2 Writers

0 Free Members

2 Members
30 Guests

Razor's Edge
by David Pekrul
copyright 06-21-2005
Contest Winner

Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
I walked upon a razor’s edge,
My feet were bleeding crimson red,
The pain was great, I slipped and fell,
And landed in the pit of Hell.

And Satan greeted me with glee,
He said, "How are you, can’t you see,
That you are in my world to stay?
I own your soul and you will pay."

And voices taunted, visions swelled,
In total darkness, in this Hell,
I begged and begged for sweet release,
A little hope, a little peace.

And then a ‘savior’ came to me,
With powder white, “I’ll set you free,
If in your veins you take me in,
You’ll feel alive, like you can win."

I tried to fight against this foe,
To turn from what he would bestow,
But in the end surrendered all,
And set myself up for a fall.

The powder melted in the spoon,
I felt the rush and very soon,
Was walking on the razor’s edge,
With bloody feet upon this ledge.


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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11-13-2005 Mary -BrytEyz- Ball    

Ok, this is REALLY strange. Now I KNOW I commented on this. I know because I referred to MY poem of a similar title. :-((( I really don't know why my comments have disappeared, but I guess it gives me another chance to let you know just how much I enjoy your work! And my poem is called "A Razor's Thread" and is at http://www.prose-n-poetry.com/display_work/1840
07-06-2005 Lucy Suzume Q.    

I really liked the flow of the words and the whole content of the poem. Nice job!

Sayonara,
Suzume AKA Lucy~
06-27-2005 Sammy A.    

Oo, this poem is kind of creepy. Very dark and emotional.
Great job.
06-23-2005 Deone Wiley    

This poem read better to my ear. It loses its impact in stanza five because you drop the full rhyme and use feminine rhyme in the first two lines. Not a biggy, but jostles the rhythm. The theme is most serious although the mood is jocular. In spite of my comments, I did like this poem.
06-23-2005 Debra Rose    

Very dark...an addiction that someone can fall from easily. There really is no saviour to ourselves but ourselves...no amount of praying or faith can make up for the will to fight and the urge to as well.

Wonderful job.
06-22-2005 SamiJo Mcquiston    

Dark, and foreboding. Not your useual style. I like it. This has such a deep and agonizing emotion to it.
Keep up the good work.
SamiJo
06-21-2005 Anthony Lane Stahlhut    

This looks dark, but the message is good. I like this, Anthony
Visitor Reads: 475
Total Reads: 515
Comments: 7

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