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The Recalcitrant
by Deone Wiley
copyright 06-28-2005


Age Rating: 13 to 127

 
In wonder now I kneel to pray
In chapel stirring to the child,
Its altar bathed in green and gold.
I had no sins that need be told.
My saints looked down and smiled
For then: from God I could not stray.
In dreams I see; in dreams I see
The innocent that once was me.


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06-30-2005 Roger Crique    

Deone, for some reason, when I read this poem, the second stanza fails the first. I've read it a few times and I come up withe the same thing. It is a beautiful poem, don't get me wrong! But there is something that stops the flow at the end. In my opinion, it starts right after, "For then: from God..." For then, followed by a colon, doesn't make sense to me. I would simply say, "For from God I could not stray," It's a cleaner sentence. Also, to repeat, "In dreams I see," is redundant. And in the last sentence, I would say, "The innocence that I once was." This is just my opinion.
06-29-2005 Brian Dickenson    

I like the picture this paints. But I do question at what age innocence stops.
I suppose it must depend on what we see as innocence.

We had a case here in the UK a few years ago of two ten year old boys murdering a two year old boy in the most horrific manner.

I do recall the clergy talking about how we are all born with original sin.

I confess, I don't know the answers, just the questions.
Brian.
06-28-2005 David Pekrul    

Our innocence was only for a short while. Now we are grown and life has dealt us our cards. But through God's grace we can regain some of the joy that we had during our innocence.
06-28-2005 Jean George    

This poem brings out such a wistful sadness in me. To remember that innocence and to know that it can never be again for I cannot, even if I wished, unquestioningly accept the teachings of organized religion. Extremely well written poem.
Visitor Reads: 292
Total Reads: 326
Comments: 4

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