Random Poem
by
Paul Kangas
(Age: 18)
copyright 08-14-2005
Age Rating: 7 to 127
I try to walk about
As if this all means nothing
When it does
I act as if I don't know you
I act as if I don't care
But the truth is...
Feeling, knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
And now you've flown so far away
But you're living without your smile
And its breaking me apart
We stand in the same room
Talking to others
When it seems like we're so close
Yet worlds away
Does anyone know how I feel?
The truth is...
God, I need you
Baby, please don't turn away
From me
I'm crying, On my knees, begging
Watch me bleed
I'll do anything to get you back
You are the best thing
That has ever happened
To me and my stupid self
And I hate myself for
Hurting you
But baby, please
If you would only give me another chance
I could show you how much I care
And although the sun will never shine
I'll always, for you, look to a brighter day
Always and forever
So if you should ever need me
Unfailingly I shall return to your arms
So baby please, Be mine again
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Paul, this poem is not so random. I would change the title and give it a real one. I mean it! One should not eat caviar on a dirty dish. Like Mike said, you are learning to channel your emotions into writing. This is good poetry. I was torn by your pleas and your heart-felt emotions. Think about this, though. In the early years, one is supposed to make these types of mistakes. Many people will come into your life to teach you the ropes. This is the reason why one day you may wake up totally in love with the girl next door, that has been living next to you for ever, but you never noticed her, except for that brand new day! Love is supposed to hurt, otherwise, you would never, ever learn to appreciate it! Beautiful poem.
This is really good! Have you ever heard the song "We Belong Together" by Mariah Carey? This poem reminds me of it. It has deep emotion and that is what I like about poems.
It seems you're learning the building blocks of poetry: painful experiences. It's good to write something like this in a freeflowing form that retains a little bit of structure so you can pour your emotions and confusion into the piece like a glass without splattering it all over the place.
And you're a baby, yet. Trust me, there'll be dozens more after this one. But what do I know? I'm here to help you as a poet.
Welcome !
