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Note: I was going to make my first story entry about Sailor Moon, but after reading so many personal accounts, I thought I would add one.
Ever since I was a child, the answer (albeit incorrect one) was to run away. If it was scary, run away. If it was mean, run away. If there wasn't a simple answer, run away. This was how I was raised... in a household of "Do As I Say, Not As I Do". My mom (it was just mom and I) told me to stand up and be strong, but all I ever saw her do was scrape enough to get by and dodge anything that might be difficult. Like meeting people. She didn't want to get hurt or rejected so she just stayed home with me and watched TV or read. She wasn't happy, and neither was I. Then she discovered the joys of internet dating...
She met this great guy in Ohio (we lived in Missouri). She spent a little time with him and after about 3 months, she was gone. She left me with the guy I was "engaged" to. Everything fell apart after that. Mom and I stopped talking, and my friends started becoming different people. Even my "fiance" turned out to be a different person, someone I couldn't stand to be around or talk to. So, my first big escape. I joined the United States Navy. In September of 2004, I left for Boot Camp.
I haven't been back to my hometown since.
Went from running from little things when I was a kid to running from everything as an adult. Bills, home... I tried to forget that there was a life beyond the Navy, and that there were some things that I had to take care of, outside of the Navy. I didn't even stay in relationships long. I got discharged from the service in November of last year. Since then I keep running... running away from things that scare me, running away from people I can't trust, running screaming from situations that are difficult. Now I'm in financial trouble because I ran from bills, and I have a load of guilt that I will never be able to get rid of because of all the people I have run from.
So why is it, that when all is said and done... I'm still running... from myself?
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