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This story is dedicated, with thanks, to Roger Crique who inspired the writing of it with his poem "Prostrated"
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The conversation takes place in a nursing home at the bedside of an 87 year old women.
“I called your son, Helen, he’s on his way and should be here soon, so you relax now, everything is ok.”
“You won’t leave will you, I’m not afraid, really, I just don’t want to be alone yet and I like your company.”
“Of course I’ll stay, Helen. I’ll stay for as long as you need me.”
“You don’t have to stay for long…I am tired and the pain isn’t so bad anymore, I feel a little numb and a little chilled…You called my son to come?…Please make sure you call him.”
“He’s on his way, Helen…so rest a bit…I’ll read to you if you like. Would that help while you wait?”
“I just want to see him and tell him how much I love him. He’s a good son, you know, he’s always thinking about me and sending things…you did call…yes, you said you did…of course you did.”
“Yes, Helen, I did…Shall I read from your bible, the psalms maybe, the ones you like so much?”
“Yes, that’s what I want, thank you…You know my son gave me that bible for Christmas before he left for school…I remember that…It was a long time ago, I think………….Read now…you go ahead…the 23rd psalm……And please hold my hand, it’s cold…. please…tell me when he comes…tell me when he comes.”
“I’ll hold your hand, of course I will…I’ll read the 23rd psalm now…it’s a beautiful psalm…you just close your eyes and listen… Am I holding your hand too tight?..No?, Well, let me wet your lips before I start…there, that’s better.”
“Hold my hand tighter, I can’t feel it…oh yes, now I can…do you know, the pain is gone…Did you call my son…Is he coming?”
“I called, Helen…. OK, close your eyes and listen…sleep if you like.”
“The Lord is my shepherd,”
“Yes, that one…it’s so very...so...so beautiful.”
“I shall not want.”
“True…it's true…I know.”
“He maketh me to lie down in Green pastures; He leadeth me beside still waters.”
“Tighter, please a little tighter…my hand…. I can’t see you…you’re still here? You are….”
“He restoreth my soul,”
“Please have them bless me…. promise?”
“I, will, I promise…….. He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake…….Shhh, Helen, it’s ok…everything is fine…. I’ve got your hand and I won’t let go….its all right.
“Yea, though, I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,”
“Death…yes, that’s what I’m waiting for now, isn’t it…I’m so tired…so tired”
“I will fear no evil.”
“Not afraid…I’m not afraid.”
“For thou art with me…”
“Is God here?…I’m waiting…Is he here?”
“Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.”
“Don’t let go of my hand….please….not afraid…please?”
“Thou annointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.”
“I hear him… his voice….is he here, my son…I thought I heard….You called…You did call?”
“Yes, Helen….Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,”
“He’s here… God’s here….here…he’s here… My son?”
“And I will dwell in the house of the lord, forever…. Amen
Good-bye Helen…rest well.”
I went to call Helen’s son to tell him that he was no longer needed at his mother’s bedside.
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This was my first experience with death in the nursing home where I worked. As an Activities Coordinator, I spent a lot of one on one time with the residents and came to know many of them quite well. Helen was one who became a close friend and when she was dying, I elected to stay with her as she passed. Her only wish was to see her son again, but he lived a good distance away and what I didn’t know chose to stay at home. The conversation above was actual but it took place over a period of seven hours…with her moments of consciousness coming further and further apart…. I read the 23rd psalm over and over for the entire time; I also held her hand…Her last thought was of her son…the one that wasn’t there. To this day I am so grateful that I stayed and she had someone to hold her hand.
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