She reaches out from the depths,
Dark and twisted,
With temptations and enticements,
With visions and promises,
Visions of what it will be like,
(Lies),
And visions of what is,
(More lies).
I lust after this dark sorceress,
Give in to her demands,
Do her bidding,
Only to tumble over the precipice,
Drag myself to the top,
And stumble again and again and again.
There are promises made and broken,
As I lie to myself and others,
Then fall upon the heap,
Like some rotting vegetation,
To become a thing of disgust,
Ignored or avoided at all costs,
Worthless in my own eyes.
Just one more drink,
Then it will be the last,
Just one more drink.
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Oh my, a surprize ending. I bet you could imagine just where my dark and twisted mind was taking me. I love the language in this poem, how you take the metaphore for Sirens (and other evil women, maybe even Jezebelle herself.) and twist it, so it fits that of alchol.
A devestating disease in it's her right that could go hand and hand with any one of darkenssess madiens.
This is a good poem. It illustrated how life really works, not how it plays out in good-old storybook land. Even though it's hard and even sometimes cruel, it the real world. And we all have to face it. This was a good poem, the flow and that like is good. Even though in the second paragraph, last line, one less again would be nice. This was a good poem, keep writing. Oh, and thanks for entering my contest!
What is it in us that drws us to this temptress. I too have fallen folly for her seduction time and time again.
Human nature i suppose to want to feel better about ourselves even if for a short moment for it also can bring along much dread.
Your work really inspires me. Gegards
Jonathon
Just one more drink, one more drink....And so it goes, that we are always drinking that one last drink! We are all guilty at one point or another of being enticed by this type of woman, the sorceress, the witch, the evil one! It is so exciting, yet so painful. Good imagery and good flow!
Congratulations! Your work has been featured in "Choices of the Week". Yah, I know...I didn't update for like, two years, but I'm doing it again so... hehe ^.^
Stop by and give the new page a look! And keep up the good work!!!
This is a haunting work...I barely know what to say....
Perhaps something along the lines of "I've felt this way before"? Some contrived notion of love that drags you done, beats you, scrapes you bloody, as if you were chained to the back of a racecar. (Excuse my harsh use of comparison :) ). All I can say is awesome work
This is a dark variance from the normal soft spoken Canadians work. I am glad to see you stray from your norm. I knew you could do it and I believe you will start to enjoy trying to write on command. Its really the same thing, in the latter you have to put the thought in your head and wait for your mind's answer. I look forward to drawing swords in more contests, on guard my friend! Anthony
Welcome !
