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Feel Your Soul
by Jonathon Bywaters (Age: 40)
copyright 07-11-2005


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
Feel your soul

Some feelings make you hesitate
So them I must eradicate
So now I learn to meditate
To let me feel my soul

To let it not be clouded
To stop it being shrouded
Not let my thoughts be crowded
To once again feel whole

To believe that I am beautiful
These feelings can be bountiful
I even must be merciful
To the ones from me who stole

Stole my inner feelings
By their distrustful dealings
But not just by my siblings
Their deeds did take their toll

So forgive and look inside
For that is where they hide
For themselves they can’t abide
Though that’s not what’s in their soul

If they let you look within
Then you really can begin
To help them feel akin
Then you console

Even if it’s only one
That the bad can be undone
Show them life is lots of fun
If you feel whole

Then slowly you remove your shroud
And your head is less a cloud
Then you really can be proud
And be one with your soul

An inner peace upon you
And good thoughts they stick just like glue
Then slowly you do get a clue
Get goodness back they stole

Let you be the one you can be
You do not feel so shabby
No longer just a wannabe
Just one who feels their soul.




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10-11-2006 Richard Reed Jr    

This piece has a very unique structure which I like. The words are well chosen -the rhymes are great, and the sentiments are wonderful. What more could a reader ask?

Bravo!

Your new fan,

Rich
07-12-2005 Duangchai Sut-un    

I like your work by the way that I read it.
I feel like your poem lead some of my emotion while I'm reading it.
07-11-2005 David Pekrul    

As everyone has said, definitely a rhmning pattern I have not seen before, but that's what makes us all different.
07-11-2005 Brian Dickenson    

Definitely a different way of rhyming. I had to read this a couple of time to really get the flow.
I like the sentiments expressed in this.
One small thing that did jar with me, was the ninth stanza. I thought it a little laboured and jerky. Maybe it's just the way I read it.
Keep up with the writing.
Brian
Visitor Reads: 266
Total Reads: 289
Comments: 4

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