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An Ode to Jerry Springer

by Debra Rose (Age: 30)
copyright 07-16-2005

Age Rating: 13 +

Posted about 8-15-2005. This is my Ode to Jerry Springer, written about five months or maybe six ago, when I was working a night shift and only Jerry Springer was on during the day. So it's a mix between "Ode to Springer" and "Ode to my ADDICTION to Springer" ^.^ I was really bored.

What started as the largest fight
Turned in to two men kissing,
And that women in the very back row,
I think her teeth are missing.
And another one jumps on her chair,
And flashes national TV,
But wait, on the stage, over there,
I can't believe what I see!
Billy Bob and his daughter Sue
Are confronting Billy's wife,
Could it be what I hear is true?
Sue is marrying Billy tonight!
And in the distance, a sound I hear
Of a cow to mock a guest,
She's running in her birthday suit,
Shaking a sagging chest.
And some old woman in the crowd,
Has joined the younger ones,
Standing up she cries so loud,
And shows that she's still "got some".
And there's some boy, he's all in pink,
Dressed in little lingerie,
He's talking about his boyfriend, Fink,
How he's leaving him today.
And millions of viewers across the globe,
Watch this everyday.
It's kind of contagious, if you must know,
In a plague like sort of way.

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Total Reads: 1601

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        07-18-2006     Tammy Frascona        

I laughed so hard at this I could barely read the ending. I agree with BJ Niktabe, I think many people will want to add to this one because it is contagious too. Good Job, even though you were bored. Sometimes my best silly stuff comes when I'm bored but I have yet to enter any.

        07-15-2006     Jordan Screws        

I am familiar with Jerry's show. Every episode has the quality of a 40-car pileup on the interstate: you want to look away from the bedlam, but you cannot bring yourself to once you see it! The Jerry Springer Show is good for days when you just seem to be unable and/or unwilling to think and take the effort to find something better to watch. I watch more of it than I probably should, but it is highly amusing, albeit in a trashy way. But I digress.

This ode captures the essence of The Jerry Springer Show: trash TV for the masses tired of feel-good talk shows and the archnemesis of moralists complaining about how TV is delivering the minds of the masses to Hell in a handbasket. I see very few mechanical mistakes ("in to" instead of into and "women" instead of woman), but they do not detract from the work in the least. The concept of an ode to trash TV is novel, and innovation is always welcome. The last lines calling the show contagious in the manner of a plague is amusing yet true: to derive amusement from the show, one must be willing to suspend disbelief and take things at face value, but having a wierd sense of humor helps too! You seem to have a talent for writing about subjects others overlook, and you are quite skilled at it.

In an era when the extent of an average citizen's involvement in national and world affairs is best decribed as "Bread and Circuses", The Jerry Springer Show certainly delivers the circus. Perhaps one could say that it is more of a freakshow than anything else... but it takes all sorts to make a world! Thank you for providing such an amusing and insightful poem. Keep up the good work!

Jordan of the Commenting Crusaders

        07-11-2006     BJ Niktabe        

Oh, wait, Stan just ran up on the stage
And said to our friend Jerry
That he's been cheating on his wife
With her older sister, Mary

And Lisa, back there in the crowd
Who seems like such a scamp
Is telling anyone who'll listen
That her mom is such a tramp!

This was such a funny thing to read, and Debra, you might have started something here! lol
Thanks for the great laugh!

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