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Diana Johnson
1 Writers

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Winter
by Paula T. (Age: 15)
copyright 07-17-2005


Age Rating: 4 to 127

 
Argh..need help...planning on making one for ever season...no likey...need constructive criticism...help me...i'm melting


Winter is a jolly man
who cares about us all.
And has a fire going
in case someone gets cold.

Winter is a nice old guy.
Abandoned, all alone.
And will invite just anyone
into his happy home.

Winter is a thoughtful man
with candy for the kids.
And who will have hot cocoa
to always go around.

Winter is the sappy kind
Who knows the end will come.
But embraces it with open arms
just like everything else.


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08-07-2005 Sam Hackel-Butt    

Me, personally, I both love and hate winter. I hate it because of the snow, and ice, and bad weather. I love it, because it's nice to sit in the house, warm, and wrapped in blankets while watching it snow. To me, the first snow-fall of the year feels like Christmas, instead of Christmas feeling like Christmas. Weird, eh? You should write one for every season. Maybe I'll do the same and we'll compare and have a bit of a friendly competition :) (You're going down! lol, jokes.)

The only bit of constructive criticism, is to maybe add a bit of punctuation. Commas, and periods at the end of the stanza's, and capitalize the beginning of every line (some areas, it wasn't.) In some areas, it sounded like Santa-Clause you were describing.
08-07-2005 Leigh G.    

Pending on your persomiatly, you might love winter as myself or, might hate it as some do. All the same good poem!
07-18-2005 Roger Crique    

For some people, winter can be very depressing. Your poem reminds us to look at the brighter side of things, to look at the glass half-full as opposed to half-empty. You have done a wonderful job describing winter in the most wonderful ways. Great Job!
Visitor Reads: 406
Total Reads: 427
Comments: 3

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