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There's an empty room,
accross the way.
I'm wondering why I'm here,
why they insist I stay.
To be yelled at,
for what I already regret.
I tell them to move on,
but they think I'm asking to forget.
I've been troubled,
for more then a month or two.
It seems as if I'm still standing here,
just because of you.
It's hard to move on,
when your past yearns to excist.
When all the faith you have,
is about the size of your fist.
And when everything seems wrong,
I hold myself and cry.
But I never felt this wrecked,
and wish I'd just die.
My head is messed up,
and I just want to be alone.
I need to clear my mind,
yet she doesn't trust me out of home.
I messed up,
and I know it too well.
I'm nothing but a f*** up,
damned from hell.
My excuses were lies,
my feelings seemed untrue.
But I still went on,
I still loved you.
Now that I know,
what I've become.
I'm afraid of being ruined inside,
afraid of being unloved.
I watched myself change,
into everything I hate.
I lost myself, my trust,
lost my thoughts, my fate.
I'm running on empty,
inside gets so cold.
As the blood runs though my veins,
the medication gets old.
The drinks on the table,
Vodka, Jack Daniels, and more.
I wonder why I'm doing this to myself,
as I lay still on the bedroom floor.
Another sleepless night passes by,
another night I see myself a change.
Wondering if things will be okay this time,
if I'll some how wonder myself back same.
So, goodnight tears,
I'll cry you more tomorrow.
But for tonight,
I'll lay here and drown in my sorrow...
_____________________________________
This poem has quite a bit of story behind it. It relies on my life, obviously, and not just all the things in life that I've done "wrong" but what I've mainly done lately. Any questions, e-mail me and I'll happily answer for you.
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