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Welcome back to The Crazy World Of Writers.
I have decided to let you all see the real me for a day, I suggest you pour yourself a cup of tea, sit back and relax while I entertain you.
Do not get too relaxed though as this may be a bumpy ride.
A day In The Life Of A Crazy Poet
Friday 21/09/2001 4.45am....I knew I had to do something, if she fell from that window it would be curtains for her.
A few people had gathered nearby.
One chap said "I know what we need...we need a blanket or something like that so she can jump."
In the distance I heard a fire engine, it was getting closer, the ringing in my ears was getting louder and louder.
The crowd of onlookers closed in on me, some were saying "switch it off man, switch it off."
I looked at them wondering why they should tell me switch it off.
They appeared to be angry with me, I did not know why.
The ringing noise became deafening, hands were pushing me as the voices of the crowd yelled out "switch it off!"
My eyes snapped open, the alarm clock continued to shrill out as my wife said, "Are you going to switch that off or what?"
As I switched the alarm clock off I could not help looking out of the window.....just to see.
21/09/2001 7.30 am/5.30pm....Now comes the part of the day that I hate the most, (WORK!).
I grudge giving up nine hour's of my life to the one that I call, (Boss).
At this stage I would like to point out that he also answers to other names, however, as I am not really sure if he will read this I think it is best to leave the other one's out.
My place of work is probably like the rest of the workhouses in the world, you know the type: the owner is a kind gentle man, bonuses are given on a regular basis, every one is satisfied with their pay.
What do you mean?, yours is not like that!
OK I may have lied a little, well quite a bit actually.
I see my workplace as a test, if I make it to the end of the day I have passed, if I do not then I fail.
There is one good thing about my workplace, (note: one thing only)that is the fact that I do not have to do any exercise outside of work hours as I get enough exercise in work e.g: Running down the boss, Ducking and Diving trying to avoid our leader, Stabbing others in the back and throwing insults at anyone who annoys me.
21/09/2001 5.30pm/10pm....This is my time, the best part of the day.
The clocking out machines seems to be in slow motion, the workers are all hanging around waiting patiently.
There is tension in the air, patience soon turns to anger as someone jumps the queue, to avoid conflict I casually pace back and forth glancing at the machine as I do so.
That's it, on my final pass the buzzer went off.
As I passed I quickly slid my card through the machine, then I was free.
I have been transformed from John the worker to John the Poet in the matter of one second.
Things look different now, it feels as though a huge weight has been lifted off me.
I say good-bye to my fellow workers as I get into my car, knowing that
this freedom will not last forever.
I am not sure what you do in your car but I know what I do.
Dictation machine in one hand cigarette in the other.... I am ready to travel.
I wish they would invent a hand's free steering wheel as I must admit it is quite difficult driving while smoking plus holding a dictation machine, and if my phone starts to ring!...well I am sure you can imagine the scene.
I think I might consult the Guinness Book Of Records to see if there is a category entitled (longest journey by car steering with elbows).
I am sure I would win.
The rest of my day is spent in what I call the happy house.
Not because it is happy all the time, quite the opposite in fact, what with two teenagers a wife and a dog all arguing at the same time.
When I look back at the life I have with my family, the (fourteen years) spent together, something always reminds me that you get less time than that for murder...hee hee hee.
Well folks it is bed time again, the time when reality shuts down letting my crazy mind run riot all over again.
John Mcleod
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