My Fairy Tale Nightmare
by
Chelsea Armstrong
(Age: 23)
copyright 07-24-2005
Age Rating: 16 to 127
I cry because I am lost
I bleed because I am human
I hurt because I am lonely
I scream because no one hears me
I breathe because I have no choice
My veins pump me with sorrow
As my soul screams for freedom
My heart beats faster
As I run through the maze called Life
I can hear the existence of my life
Tear at the very seam
Hear me scream
Listen to my pain
Watch my life fall apart at the very seam
Watch me wake every sunrise
With only the song of Sorrow on my lips
Watch me bleed a thousand times
As the wounds you caused grow deep
Watch as they breed and bare the infectious disease
We call Love
Come and dance with me through the maze
Losing ourselves even further
Come with me through the gates
Take my hand
Forget the Fates
Show me what it feels like to dream again
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Though the words are very powerful, there are times when it rhymes and the rest doesn't. I feel that it detracts from the power when you hit the second paragraph.
Though, there are no better ways to put how someone can feel lost when they are in love. You made a very moving piece here.
Like life, the fates are neither good nor bad
just fates. It is our thinking which makes them black or white. Pain makes joy more pleasurable because of it's existence. The Devil is what makes God needed.
I love the powerful words you used in this poem -very vivid with deep impact.
it is okay to get lost our country was founded by lost people. You might not find what you were looking for but don't get dicourage who knows what you will find instead. Good job. Thank you
Your a complex woman. Thoughts materialize on paper from your head. I wonder if you even remember writing them? I know I've written some things then I asked myself over and over if I had really written them, when I know I was holding the pen and I got the paper, but something else actually did the writing. You still can dream and there is that someone holding your hand now, it may not be time to go through the gate yet. That time will come, we need you now and others need to read this poem! Thanks, Anthony
Most of the fairy tales I've read start out on a bad footing, but in the end are lessons that needed to be learned before being able to experience a good outcome. Your poem reflects the downs and hopefully at the end the ups in all of life and living. Good write, Chelsea.
Nancy
This is very much the kind of thing a young person would write when they're struggling to understand what "true love" is at an age where it's impossible to understand.
In my book, this means it's something everybody can relate to, but it's also something you'd probably keep to yourself instead of submitting to the public. Difficult to pick between, really. I generally stick to the second choice by default just because usually poems about relationships, good or bad, come out less like pop songs after we've settled down again. Sadly, this comes off as something written for stress relief (probably two thirds of any poet's repertoire).
But whatever the context, the last four lines really stuck in my head. Kind of Shakespearean.
Love can definitely hurt, but we wouldn't miss it for the world. You have expressed great emotion.
The only thing I'm not sure of is why you placed the first line all by itself, instead of combining it with the rest of the stanza.
Welcome !
