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Let's Stay Together Forever
by
Jane L.
(Age: 14)
copyright 07-31-2005
Age Rating: 10 to 127
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I was so happy.
He smiled for me.
The smile that melts everything.
Even though spring is still far away,
In the cold dirt,
I was waiting until I could come out.
Even if I said that today was hard,
Even if I still have yesterday's scar,
If I have a mind that can trust,
I can't be born again,
But I can still change.
Let's stay together forever.
Looking at me you're laughing,
Holding those hands,
Looking to endless future.
Even if I said that today was hard,
Even if I still have yesterday's scar,
If I have a mind that can trust,
I can't be born again,
But I can still change.
Let's stay together forever.
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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04-30-2007 Leigh G.
Oh, and since your "lets" is being used as "let us" I think it should be "let's". I'm not positive though, so I'll leave it to you to decide if you want to change it...just thought I'd point it out. :)
Leigh of the CC
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04-30-2007 Leigh G.
Ahhhh, another piece about wanting to stay together forever. You kept it interesting though, and have the old topic a face-lift with your choice of words. I did figure out why there's been a dark shadow over me all day though...I woke up to my parents arguing, so... Anyway! A quote I heard nearly five years ago: "Forever is not long enough, to be with you". Huzzah! I can't pick on you about capitalization! Three cheers! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! :D Sorry, getting hyper again now that I figured out what had me down and I determined a long time ago I wouldn't let my parents bring me down. Great work, Jane! Keep writing!
Leigh of the Commenting Community
P.S. Another famous quote, "So many ups and downs, my heart's a battleground." Utada Hikaru, Sanctuary.
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08-09-2005 Euna P.
Oh wow. This is really good. Just...wow.
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08-03-2005 Jennifer Simpliciano
Awww, forever! That's so sweet! That's a really good poem for your age. I couldn't write that well when I was 11. Scratch that; I don't think I wrote creatively at 11 anyway!
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08-01-2005 Sam Hackel-Butt
Forever is not long enough. :)
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07-31-2005 Jenna T.
Really nice! It sounds like a themesong...I have the first Fruits Basket comic book collecting dust on my shelf...haven't read it yet...0_o that was random. Nice job; I love this. So sweet!
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07-31-2005 Mika L.
Nice poem... this is like the fruits basket opening song either way, nice!
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Comments: 7
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