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The Mind
by Rene Laris
copyright 08-09-2005


Age Rating: 1 to 127

 
The mind is like a faucet,
you can turn it off or on.

The mind has preconceptions,
of what is right and wrong.

The mind with it's potential,
there's nothing you can't do.

But first of all and fore most,
it must believe in you.


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08-10-2005 Deone Wiley    

Rene, I will not comment on your theme. As always, this one is flawless. So, on your grammar, the word is foremost, not two words for most.

Those commentors who speak of what you say, not how you say it, do not seem to understand critique. Or maybe, they are being very careful, not wanting to crush a beginning poet. What you write about is always wonderful. I do not always feel it is "poetry". There are conventions in writing poetry. We've talked about that. On this one, there seems little to disagree with as to conventions. I agree with Debra Rose. I think to make this two quatrains, that is two four line stanzas, would be better flow of words. But the form as it is seems just fine. This, despite all my rambling, is a very nice little poem. To summariza: nice poem, nice theme, nice form, nice wording, nice rhyme. Remember, of course, this is auntie speaking!
08-09-2005 David Pekrul    

Another well-written poem, although I'm not sure about the truth in the first stanza. I can never seem to turn off my mind, it is always continually running on. Tires me right out.lol
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