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Don't Give Up

by Jane Lee (Age: 20)
copyright 08-12-2005


Age Rating: 10 +

Right in front of my two eyes,
Slowly the world that I dreamed of,
Is coming closer to me.

I reach out my pale hand,
To reach for it,
Touch it.

When I touch it,
It simmers like water,
Sparkles like stars.

Looking into the water,
Like a mirror, it reflects myself.

I hesitate for a moment...

Suddenly the mirror disappears,
The darkness surrounds me.

The sadness and darkness,
Rings in my ears.

My eyes go blind,
My ears go dead.

Wrapped in darkness,
I scream because would never be happy again.

But your hand,
Like a angel,
Reaches out to me.

I open my eyes,
And I reach your hand.
You pull me out.

When I look at you,
You disappear.

I start crying,
Every tear containing all my sadness.

Run the race,
Don't stop.

Keep going on,
Don't fall.

Keep trying,
Don't start crying.

Follow your dreams,
Don't give up.






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        04-30-2007     Leigh Gilholm Fisher        

I think I liked the ending the best, because of how song-like it was and how it kept a pattern with different words. Before I read your sentiment posted as a comment, I kinda guessed this was more broad then just a person trying to comfort another person, and that it was more about life in general. It's on the short side, so it was a little tricky to get into, but I enjoyed it anyway. The meaning being slightly hidden is nice too, it only bothers me if it's completely obscure. Nice comparisons and the like, keep writing and good work!


Leigh of the Commenting Community

        08-17-2005     Roger Crique        

Hi, Jane, this is a very nice poem and the idea to follow your dreams is always good. But I've noticed that a lot of you children do not capitalize the, "I." Don't' get into this habit. Always use capital I, not doing so will make your work look less beautiful.

        08-14-2005     David Pekrul        

Hi Jane.
This poem does not need any explanation, it is perfect the way it is.
But please, as suggested, fix the spelling errors. This is a wonderful work of literature, but spelling errors take away from the whole package.

        08-13-2005     Jane Lee        

This poem is sorta like about life. And your dreams. I got the idea from my friend Euna P. beacause she wasn't sure if she wanted to flollow her dreams or not. And I was watching this Chinese music video when i sorta got inspired to write this. Also what i mean when this is life? I'll explain. The world that the person dreamed of is their dreams. But if you don't catch the chance quickly, it can dissapear quickly. After losing that chance, the person tries something eles in life but something that was not their dream. They have really stressful lives. But then someone gives them the change once again. so..... well, thats my poem. ^.^

        08-12-2005     Mika Lee        

This is nice, a few spellin mistakes, i think this would be better if u maybe, had a rythem to it..... My opinion though



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