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Just For You
by
Jane L.
(Age: 14)
copyright 08-30-2005
Age Rating: 10 to 127
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There aren't any words to explain it.
All I see is the little drop of water,
That comes down your face...
How long has it been,
Ever since I didn't see you?
In my memories,
I can only see you...
With that little frown and those shining eyes.
Does it have to hurt?
That precious promise,
That kept me going...
I won't break it.
Hold me tight to your chest...
I still want to see you.
The sadness aches in my heart.
I shout out your name to the wide ocean.
Can you hear it?
I'm waiting just for that day.
That chance...
Just touching your hand,
Is happiness for me.
Seeing pictures of your smiling face,
Warms up my day.
The precious promise,
That kept me going.
I won't break it.
The rain outside becomes my tears.
I'll send my heart to you.
If I could be born again,
I would be a tree.
A tall and strong tree.
That way I'll just stay.
Stay in one place.
The precious promise,
that kept me going,
I won't break it!
I never knew...
Does it have to be like this?
I look up the brilliant sun.
It shines brightly,
Just like your pure smile.
The endless stars are my tears.
They can't be stopped.
If I wasn't here,
My spirit could be the full moon.
That precious promise,
That kept me going.
I will not break it!
Hold me tight to your chest...
I'll be the full moon...
Shining for you in the night...
Just
For
You...
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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05-04-2007 Leigh G.
Matters of the heart...I shall never be good with them I fear! I get vastly indecisive with such things, too. But if you can decide what you want with that sort of thing, then I suggest you do your best to keep that skill. It will probably help you greatly one day. You've only got a few uncapitalized lines, so that's my only pick. I looked in an old English book from seven years ago or so and it said for capitalization rules, "every line of poetry" even though it's commonly accepted uncapitalized. But I'm just a picky sucker... Anyway, this is a beautiful poem with a good choice of words and flow. I liked the way you told a story, even though it reminded me a little bit of some of your other poems... Good work, keep writing!
Leigh of the Commenting Community
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10-10-2006 Richard Reed Jr
Hold me tight to your chest...
I'll be the full moon...
Shining for you in the night...
Just
For
You...
What a beautiful closing to a beautiful Poem. Love is hard, and hurtful when it doesn't work, but when it does, it's the greatest happiness I know. I wish you love,
Your PnP friend,
Rich
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10-08-2005 Mika L.
Aww sad poem ^^ I like the last couple lines because when u read them, they seem to rhym.
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09-05-2005 Eleni Makarios
This is such a sad poem. I can relate to it. When I read it, I felt like I might cry. I think this website is making me sensitive! But I guess I've always been a sensitive writer. ^.^ keep up the good work.
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08-31-2005 Sage B.
I agree with anthony about some of the lines missing a word or two but besides that its a wonderful poem!
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08-31-2005 Jenna T.
I love this!!!!!!! What else can I say? Anthony and Roger said everything ^_^ Keep writing, you are excellent!
Jenna T.
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08-30-2005 Anthony Lane Stahlhut
very nice write. A few of your lines don't read well and if you take your time and read it again you will be able to make it better. Roger is right about the length. You don't need the many spaces between lines. If you just take them out it would help. I like where you went with this and the feelings ring true in your poem. Good job, Anthony
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08-30-2005 Roger Crique
Very, but very nicely done! You are a river of emotions at such a tender age, unless you're really fifty and you're pretending to be eleven! But that's okay! We're entitled to dream...Honestly, you are highly gifted. You have a few lines that are like unfinished thoughts. I won't tell you which ones. You're bright enough to figure it out. I also suggest not to write your poems longer than they need to be, for this may take away some of the emotions you are trying to convey. But I think that this poem is really beautiful. Please keep writing, it is a pleasure to read your work.
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