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To me, life is like an airport. Some of us land and some of us depart. We come here with different baggages and agendas. How we deal with the cards that we are dealt, depends on how adept we are at traveling through this airport. The use of foul language is distracting in a poem, but in your case, it's understandable, for I don't know what your grandfather did, but I can only imagine. And I know that it has taken a toll on you. Time heals all wounds and hopefully, you'll heal in time. I think that in one of your sentences you wrote, "pleasue," as opposed to, "Pleasure," It is very difficult to forgive someone that has hurt us, at least for me, but trying can only bring one inner peace and outer happiness.
I don't know what to say. As I read through this piece, you seemed to get angrier and angrier. I think Anthony has said it all. Try to find peace within yourself. Be your own person; don't let others actions destroy who you are.
What to say, I am sorry that life has dealt you this hand. Anger does not help you for it keeps you at bay. Try to forgive and it will be easier to go on.This will be hard given the circumstances, but he is gone and your anger has no place to fall except the floor. Life deals cards that we don't want or understand, but you must do what you can with what you have. Don't let someone else's mistakes hold you back. I love your work, therefore I love you, because your works come from your heart! Anthony