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Help
by Leigh G. (Age: 14)
copyright 09-05-2005


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
Help me
Take my hand
I can't hold on much longer
I don't want to fall to oblivion
I can't hold on
I'm slipping fast
The wind is too strong
Power and might are lost to me
I've been fighting just a little too long
Take my hand
I can't hold on much longer
They're coming
The demons of Hell that thirst for my blood
I've fought too many battles and won
What wouldn't they do for a taste of my blood...
Their blood lust belongs to me!
Their hate belongs too me!
Their death wish belongs to me!
Please help me!
I know who fought for real in those practice matches when we were just kids
I thought Heavens Warriors fought for each other...?
...I guess I was wrong...
I can't hold on much longer...
No one comes to aid me
Even though I know you're there
Even thought I thought you loved me...
I can't hold on any more
I finely fall...
Demons of Hell...
Devour me!




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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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09-17-2005 Sam Hackel-Butt    

Much better, Leigh! Here are your points.
09-10-2005 Sam Hackel-Butt    

Hi Leigh. Roger is right, there are a few tiny errors, and I e-mailed you the corrections. You're good at writing dark! I too, have returned to dark, working on a dark poem for two days now. I like the subtle hints of a lost love in your poem, and the failing feeling of loss, and failure. I can relate. Good job! I'll give points when the errors are fixed. (If I give it a low praise point count now, that's the amount of praise that will appear on your main page.)
09-07-2005 Roger Crique    

This is a very dark and telling poem, Leigh, but you have lots of typos that you need to correct. You also need to spell-check your work before you submit. I suggest you do that. Again, see if you notice the typos. If you can't then I'll show you which ones they are.
Visitor Reads: 522
Total Reads: 542
Comments: 3

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