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 04-08-2008 Kelley Appleby
Love this, Alma!!
That girls got alot of nerve
showin' her face here.
I should be the one
you're after dear.
Cause there's nothing
good about that girl
I love how you add words that make you sound proper! Right in the middle of a cutesy poem involving teen angst... One of yours I read spoke of your "joy" and now this one, with "dear"
I hope you always do that! It is special and could be your signature mark in your work. ^.^
I agree with the question mark suggestion, and add an apostrophe to girls and "alot" is two words: a lot...
Keep up with your writing... it's fun to read!!
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07-03-2007 Leigh G.
Interesting. I have no real experience with situations like this, even though I am sure this one is most bothersome. As I'm home schooled, I haven't even talked to a guy my age in person in over five years so I'm really out of touch in a lot of social areas. XD Good work though, for you described a pain-in-the-ass situation for most people that go to conventional schools very well. I've got a few others picks, like in the fifth line I think you should end it with a question mark because that's kinda how you set the sentence up. I suggest proper capitalization, but you're used to that. ;)
Leigh of the Commenting Community
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10-08-2006 Lisa A.
Ahh we can call relate to "that girl". In fact, I know many of those girls. I suppose that's life, but it's a bummer isn't it?
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07-07-2006 Tammy Frascona
Do I sence some anger here? Sure do! There is nothing as frustrating as watching somebody who doesn't deserve anything to suddenly or always have everything. It doesn't seem fair does it sweetie. Well all I can say is get used to it! There are people all over this world who don't deserve what they have... Paris Hilton is a good example. Snobby, Spoiled Brat, who can't do anything on her own yet has billions of dollars at her exspence! Good job Honey
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06-30-2006 Kimberly Murphy
Wonderful wwrite. I really love it! Keep on writing!!
Kim
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05-11-2006 Shannon W.
I see your having a bit of tension with another girl in school? Some girl that is more popular and mean? Well I cant tell you for a fact why all thr guys would like her. In my school there is this girl Lauren. She is mean and a slut. All the guys like her. I dont know why. She sleeps with everyone and she's not that pretty, I think she looks like a dalmation. lol
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02-25-2006 Vicki G.
HAHA! LOL There's a girl at my school JUST like this. She isn't even pretty, but she has like ten boyfriends. Kind of annoying. I can totally relate to this poem and I <3 it.
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01-26-2006 Anne-marie Hewlett
Brill. I think every girl at some point will feel like this, no matter what. If you can't get the guy, give up and look for the next one. Look for Mr. Right now, not Mr. Right.
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