Why Didn't I Speak?
by
Regina Pate
(Age: 29)
copyright 05-03-2007
Age Rating: 18 to 127
I will give ya ride, if you'll just wait a minute, he said
And my heart starts racing, and I stop pacing
Did ya hear me? he asks, he wants to know
And I turn around but it's all foggy
And he repeats, he speaks, he says again
Did you hear me? I'll give you ride if you'll just wait a minute
And I can't talk, my mouth is shut, my mind is making no sense of any of this
And before I can say, before I reply
He walked up the stairs, through the door, no good bye?
And all I can do
is what you knew
I would do
and right on your cue
And I jumped in the front seat
like we didn't miss a beat
And I write this with a smile
And I'll wait here for awhile
But the more time that goes by
The more I ask why
And then I'm confused all again
And I pick up my pen
Then I remember what I heard as I walked out the door
I remember those words I never heard you say before
What? I thought you knew
I love you too.
And so now I repeat,
I open the door and
I will walk away again
Today, and I will pray
I find my way
From sunrise to sunset
to sunrise and down again
you bet
Uh huh, o yeah, right there
Whatever
I'm outta here!
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This is a rather cryptic write and it never seems to achieve a logical conclusion and reveal anything to the reader. It's okay to be secretive, but a poem or a story ought to say something and evoke a response from the reader besides "Huh?" I guess if we were privy to what was going on (which the writer has to at least hint at in order to be understood) we might get the picture. As it stands, I feel the piece needs a little fleshing out to be meaningful or make a point of some sort. Write on, you seem to have inklings of talent and should keep working to unveil it to us.
I've read this several times now and it leaves me with a feeling of either something terrible that happened, or something terrible that was going to happen. Either way, it's a very moving piece that has it's own hidden secret which we aren't going to be allowed to see. From a reader's point of view, I want more information. From an emotional perspective, I am quite overwhelmed enough by vague unsettled, troubled things that I'm not sure I want to know about.
This is scary for me Gina. Did you walk away again? You know I worry. Why did you edit this a few days ago? I have a feeling.... Please call.. email... come home... something.
RICH! Don't say things like that! I worry enough
without the worry of cemeteries too.
Love, Mom
Welcome !
