The Renaming of the Dodge Rock Ranch
by
Jackie Moranty
copyright 09-28-2001
Age Rating: 7 to 127
Let me start with a little background here. My ranch is listed as the Lazy Heart Cross 7. That's my brand, and yes, most animals survive the fire. It only looks big on paper. However, because all I can grow in it is rocks, we dubbed it the Dodge Rock Ranch as a joke a few years ago.
Anyway, this is a story about a practical joke that I played on a friend of mine when she came up from Colorado to see my daughter compete at State Fair in Agility with her dog (the dog was actually doing the Agility, even if the kid really wanted to).
Now for the directions to my house and why the Dodge Rock is changing it's name.
A friend of mine went to Douglas with us to watch Jessie's run. She had no idea where she was or where she was going, so she kept asking. Well, on our way back, she asked, "How far away from your place are we?"
I looked over the terrain a bit and said, "We just passed the dead deer, so we're about halfway home."
A bit later, she asked again, I said, "We just passed the rabbit on the side of the road, so we're almost to the Platte County line."
I told her that we were taking a different way home. It was a little more scenic, so we're running down this little dirt track, and I hit the brakes pretty hard and said, "Ooops! I almost passed the dead badger. I need to turn left here."
She said, "How far after the dead badger do we go?"
I said, "Well, we go until we get to the dead skunk, then we turn right."
She said, "You are the only person I know who uses road kill for landmarks."
I said, "It's a good thing that skunk got in my way last night, or I wouldn't have a clue where I was at."
It was a cutting skunk. Really. I tried to dodge that little stinker, and he kept cutting the car. Now you know why we're changing the name of the Dodge Rock. It's now called the Dodge Skunk.
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This story gave us all a chuckle when I told it at a gather one night. I have a lot of city folk who come to visit and they get their fair share of razzing when they come up. Robert, the skunk smell stayed on that car nigh on a week. Nothing I did helped it. Bleach, tomato juice, it was all a lost cause. The tomato juice turned it an interesting shade of red for awhile, though. Betty, actually, my friend is a really smart lady, and she did catch on by the time we got to the badger. She may have caught on when we got to the rabbit, I'm not sure. Sometimes she lets me have my head and run. That's what friends are for. David, we have another method of direction up here, it's called the "Old Timer's Directions". It goes something like this: Go west until you get to the old LaFitte place (they haven't lived there for 20 years) and head north, then when you get past the Preuit place (they lost the place in the '50's), head west again, then take the old ranch road (it's paved now and called Palmer Canyon, there's a sign and everything)until you come to the big white rock, not the one with the trees growing around it, the other one. The house should be just behind the rock.
Very cute! Your poor friend is a little gullible, I' m afraid.
I used to say "We live on Main Street and our yard has a tree in it"
Rattlesnakes and cacti lived there, I didn't know that until after I moved there.
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