Forgotten Gift
by
Jack Curson
(Age: 32)
copyright 09-23-2005
Age Rating: 10 to 127
For it is only the forgone few who seek the deep within;
Hardened and heavy hearted, our sins are too much for men.
Searching in the dark for the treasures of their souls;
Lives surmised by purpose, refuse to seek true goals.
Trapped within the thoughts that death will soon rule our day;
This creature of deception looks for a soul to pay.
Crossing upon a lifetime, incredible is his devilish grin,
Suited for true destruction this figure pulls the pen.
Tattered and torn papers pile at his feet,
Signed by all the pretentious has-been’s ravenous in defeat.
Gathering up the woodwork that we men call our souls,
This beast throws them upon the lake to create new fiery coals.
Screams of torture, burning flesh, from here to eternity,
But the choice was ours; we must pay the price, this is a certainty!
A love that is strong can pull us back with the smallest of requests,
Just clasp your hands, fall to your knees and pray for this grand bequest.
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I'm going to echo Jim here. The title was good and appropriate. and original sin began on that day of feeling shame to be naked in front of God, and learning knowledge that we still can't manage.
You paint a good picture of Milton's Satan, here. What I really like and find effective is the title, which really sets up the rest of the piece nicely. I do agree and believe that Original Sin stems from shame and fear, which simply results from forgetting one's connection to one's source, an absolutely free gift which we often refuse. (In AA, we talk of sobriety as a free gift, too).
I like the format, too-- suits the subject well.
talk about imagery you can use, you can't even read this poem without a screwed up face. I can feel the atmosphere of ancient dungeons and mythical dragons and smell the stench of mans wrath about to cross his path and then I see a man, just one out of many go from wild determination to finally silent humiliation and then I can see how grace gives him his salvation. I love it.
First of all I see a great rhythm in your lyrics, and I thought this was a beautiful piece of work. Second, many great poems make a reader question things in life without handing them the answer, so deep within can be different things for different readers. I do have to say many of my works have a Christian overtone to them and to many they might be hard to understand, because sometimes you have to Believe, to get it!
But I write them from inspiration and for enjoyment and I don't worry if someone doesn't get it.
I really just loved this, Amanda
A good poem has the ability to pull us in and play with our imagination, never mind meter or stanzas or rhyme, the best of poems are not judged by this! A good poem bears the unspoken language that stirs the senses and creates the images of the unspoken word and the unseen panoramic imagery of our inner world! This poem certainly has that! Great work, Jack!
Even free verse has to contain the other elements of poetry. Your poem may not be metrical or may not rhyme, but you still have to have a rhythm to your words.
You do have effective imagery and beauty through the use of words.
So many people do not realize that it is Satan who sends the soul to Hell, not God. God gave of Himself in order to rescue us from that place.
Good write!
We complain about what the government does or does not do, but we forget to be thankful for the every day miracles that let us continue to live. No thanks can ever be enough. Thank you for this and God for everything else, Anthony
Welcome !
