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Nivedita R.
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Prismatic Butterfly
by Charlotte S.
copyright 08-08-2006


Age Rating: 10 to 127

  Prismatic Butterfly
Picture Credits: http://fs6.deviantart.com/p/2005/117/7/7ca8474c4977bdba.jpg



You used to be so happy
Play around, fly in circles all day
Your world was filled with colors of joy
Though you smile was not that visible,
It was obvious that it was there
You were so free, no kind of worry on your side
While I look back at these days
I wonder what went wrong
You don't have to put yourself through this,
please hold on
I cannot let you die

××You're my Prismatic Butterfly ××


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08-20-2006 Elisabeth H.    

I love the pic, it's as beautiful as a butterfly:-) I also really liked this poem, it's a great topic to write about. Personally I write about anything I want, I'm whimsical that way. It's good to just have some fun when your writing.
08-09-2006 David Pekrul    

Interesting piece, starting out so light and happy, ending up so dark and sad. This could probably be expanded on to really bring the emotion to the surface.
A couple errors"
"Though you (should be 'your') smile was not that visible,"
"While I look back at these (should be 'those') days"
09-25-2005 Sage B.    

Short but strong...kinda like a shot..(lol) This was pretty good. I like you metaphor comparing a person to a butterfly..so pretty and carefree but can be squashed ina mere second or two. Nice poem keep it up!
Visitor Reads: 337
Total Reads: 357
Comments: 3

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