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Jane L.
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How could you?
by Sage B.
copyright 09-25-2005

Age Rating: 10 to 127

You can see the tears falling.
How they brake through the brink of my eyes.
I can't understand why you would make your daughter cry.
I believed that you cared for me!
How selfish can you get?
You would rather see me in a foster home.
How easily you forget.
My dad has only the best in mind for me.
My aunt is the best of all.

You can never be happy.
Everything was fine the last visit, you were lucky my aunt was so kind.
How could you just betray me?
Trying to destroy my family.

I am happy with my life mom.
I know whats best for me.
How dare you bite the hand that feeds you.
Trying to discard me to some street.

That's some crap mom!
For you know the foster life.
The horrid places you go.
Dealing with constant strife.

I accept no apologies mom, you made your mistake.
How dare you act like nothing happened?
When you slapped us in the face.
I can't believe you Deborah.
You don't deserve the title of a mom.

I hope you suffer like you wanted me to.
I hope you're happy dying all alone.
Are you jealous deb?
I know you always are.
your lucky I'm polite deb.
This time you really went to far.

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10-06-2005 Regina Pate

I know adzactly how you feel. I was adopted at 7 and now at 27 I am living with my real mom like nothing happend. I still have a hard time calling her mom sometimes and catch myself calling her Deb. How funny my mom's name is Deborah also. I had to read it again just to realize it wasn't from me. lol Good job. Thank you

Gina

09-26-2005 Sage B.

You mean the 22 line right?
Sorry but " I believed your cared for me" isn't right.

09-26-2005 Toni Sweeney

You still have one mistake. In stanza fifth stanza you need to add a r onto the second you so it will be your. I will give you your well deserved praise though. Just make sure you fix that last mistake.
Toni Sweeney

09-26-2005 Toni Sweeney

You did a really great job.I really love your choice of words on many of the stanzas. My favorite stanza would have to be the fourth stanza. I really like how you made the words seem nice together. You had some mistakes in the poem though. In Stanza three first line you need to ad a am between I and happy. In the fifth stanza you need to ad a r onto the second you. In the final stanza 2nd line dieing is suppose to be spelled dying. Email me when you fix the mistakes and I will come back and give you your well deserved praise on the poem.
Toni Sweeney

Visitor Reads: 406
Total Reads: 427
Comments: 4

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How could you? by Sage B. copyright 09-25-2005 Age Rating: 10 to 127

How could you?
by Sage B.
copyright 09-25-2005

Age Rating: 10 to 127