Help Us Stop Plagiarism -
Nearly all works at PnP are original. However a few people choose to plagiarize.
To check, choose a phrase from the work, then either drag and drop to the search box or copy and paste.
click on search and works at Google will be shown which match. Just to be sure, please do this before
you recommend or rate the work highly...
Wow. This did strike home, except mine was in a pipe. I had a work a while ago called "on my bed" and it was about how on my bed lay homework I hadn't done, dreams I had thrown away, and a pipe that was my addiction. It was after the second time I had taken a hit, and I realized at that point, I was gone.
This is far too real, and also a bit painful for me to read. Since, even though I survived to become clean, many people I knew and cared about while on it, are either dead or in the place where you leave this off at.
As for technicalities in the work. I think the second to last verse had a bit of a problem, by using "control" twice. Other than that, I think it's okay. The message is a great one. Sad, but great. I just think that verse needs to lose one of the "controls".
You have the uncanny ability to seriously describe the absurd in one poem, and yet beautifully relate an ugly truth in another. I want to smile at your art, but cry at the message. *hugs* Good job, Anthony.
ouch, I know the feeling all to well I am sorry to say, but I also know that I am gonna be ok and so will this person, unless it is too late, I am glad I am not in a box, but I have dug myself a hole and digging myself out of it is not as much fun as I had digging it so, but still better than a box good job.
This is by far one of your better writes. Although you have mixed your meters, I do question the use of the anapest which gives a poem a frivolous tone. The iamb has a more sober tone, and I believe the subject and theme are most sober. I find it most interesting that we deplore the use of drugs and its addiction, but accept the televison ads which are for dozens of drugs, prescription, of course, but?
I think that this poem speaks volume of how dependency can turn a person into a mere shell of their former state. Unfortunately, not everyone has the resolve to say no to drugs or alcohol. Some of your sentences are run on. You have commas where periods should be, this breaks the fluidity of the poem. The imagery is sobering and the theme is essential. You last line really pulls the poem together.
Hi Anthony...this is one of your best.The subject and depth of the poem was conveyed with words that describe the insidiousness of addiction in a 'crystal clear' manner. The rhythm and rhyme pattern enhanced the meaning of the poem without once overshadowing the topic...Very good write!
I very much agree with James! But for me...in the pipe, it was Crystal Clear...
This is ironic you wrote this, because this morning I started thinking about it again. This time, it was thinking about what I would say if I ever got the chance to talk to high school students like I want to do. What horrors I would tell them about, you know? How lost we were.
I'm glad I was able to inspire a work like this from someone, instead of having it inspired by something else. Beautiful
The 12-step literature talks about addiction and alcoholism as "cunning, baffling, and powerful," and it is. It is the only disease I know of that convinces the patient he has no disease-- that he's perfectly fine. Your last line encapsulates that really well-- it all just seemed so chrystal clear, even when the poor addict is dying on the floor.
Welcome !
