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Those Three Words
by
Jane L.
(Age: 14)
copyright 10-01-2005
 Contest Winner
Age Rating: 10 to 127
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Picture Credits: http://naver.com
I'm waiting at the bridge,
Everything is ready.
All I need is you.
Are you going to come?
The painful memories,
Come back to me.
Faster than light.
Those three words...
I look at the pure water.
All I see is a little girl,
staring back with big, wide eyes.
Why aren't you coming?
I can see and,
Recognize you in my dreams,
But I can't remember your face.
It seems to try to
Say something to me...
But I can't hear you.
My heart has blocked out everything.
Encased me in a cage.
Those three words...
I touch the white necklace that you gave me.
It's the only memory I have of you.
Smelling your scent,
It brings back all the times we were together.
But that girl in my memories,
Is not me.
Those three words...
The rain starts gently at first,
But harder and harder it gets.
I didn't realize it until now,
That I was crying.
Those three words...
I wish I could have done it faster.
But I was too late to say it.
Those three words...
It's been too long.
I can't remember what you said to me that time.
You aren't coming.
I guess I have to start without you.
Who is that little girl ,
Staring back at me in the water?
Those three words...
I stand on the edge of the bridge.
Nobody sees me.
But it doesn't matter.
Nobody even cares.
Thunder roars like a lion above me.
Lightning flashes by like a cheetah.
Are you looking at me right now?
I close my eyes and jump.
The wind swishes around me.
That girl is still staring at me.
Those three words...
It isn't until I come to the middle.
that I realize...
That brightly smiling girl
was me...
That is me.
I can now hear and remember,
your voice and smile.
The sky slowly clears up.
Those three words...
I can remember everything.
Even the words I longed to say to you,
But I was too late to say.
I want to rewind,
And start again.
But I see that I'm too late again.
I'm too close to the water.
I'm too late again.
I'm only a inch above the water.
The fear in my eye is clearly reflected.
Before I lose everything,
I shout it out.
Shout the words that I cried,
Over and over for.
So that in someway,
You might hear me.
I
LOVE
YOU!
Those three words...
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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10-06-2006 Deborah Thomas
Some of the thought patterns involved here are so mature for your young age. I am saddened that at age 12 you actually have this kind of experience.
I will forever remember to say those three words.. lest the time passes and I am too late!
And the reflection 1 inch from the water... too late again! Never do anything you can't take back..
Debbie
good luck in the new contest/ congrats on the original! :)
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10-06-2006 Shannon W.
This is very good and true to the heart. When I hear "Those three word" I think of the song Racing cars by Snow Patrol. I love when he sings the part "Those three words are said to often, but not enough". Have you heard the song? It's really good. Thanks for entering my contest.
Shannon
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09-20-2006 Richard Reed Jr
This is one of the most moving poems I have ever read. The repetition technique was great.
Congrats on winning the contest, and I'm sure you will many more.
Your friend,
Rich
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09-02-2006 Alysyn Bourque
Emotions are never linear, and this piece expresses that ideal beautifully. This is truly how a broken heart would read if it were written down.
"Lightning flashes by like a cheetah"...what a wonderful image.
Except for "brigde" and the lack of a comma in the line "...big wide eyes" ("...big, wide eyes) everything seems technically well constructed.
Congratulations on winning the contest. Well deserved.
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07-21-2006 Kimberly Murphy
Thought I would give you more points. Gosh!! This is a beautiul poem!! Still is amazing!!
Kim
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07-07-2006 Leigh G.
Wonderful!!! Simply wonderful! The flow was a bit bumpy, and I'm glad you entered this in my contest! My only problems with this one were, you need to capitalize the start of each line, and maybe use less blank lines... Aside from that, the picture had me wondering, and I thought I knew exactly what was coming at me by the title, but I was wrong. A familiar topic, given a new flare and creativity that is original to you. Truly worthy of your last contest win! You have a lot of compilation now. ;) Sorry for not reading sooner, my on line schedule has been rocky recently. Just one thing that bothers me...would it kill Mary S to use proper grammar, and say why it's nice, or not very good, or okay? Why the Commenting Crusaders exist... The emotions in this poem are raw and hard, and I can tell that you wrote it spur-of-the-moment. Most people hate this kind of poem, since it isn't proper, but I think the raw emotion is something that makes a poem better. Pain is something all feel, especially the kind that comes from heartbreak. And now I must go, for I have a Kyusu-chan in PnP chat to pick on. Thank you for entering my contest, great work, keep writing!
Your friend,
Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders!
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04-21-2006 Kimberly Murphy
Oh my. I must say that your work is not only interesting, but very touching as well. Incredible. I absolutely loved it!!
Kimberly Murphy
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04-15-2006 Daniel R Patton
? INTERESTING! READ, IT'S VERY THOUGHT PROVOKING TO SAY THE LEAST. MANY TIMES SOME HAVE WISHED THEY'D SAID THIS ONLY AFTER IT WAS TO LATE, I HOPE THOSE WHO READ IT ALSO... CONSIDER IT.
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02-18-2006 Richard Reed Jr
Congrats on winning the contest.It's probably arrogant of me to say that only great poem could have beaten mine. Well, it was a great poem. I'm almost moved to tears, every time I read It.
Also exceedingly well-written.
Congrats and bravo!
Rich
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10-31-2005 Toni Sweeney
This is a great poem. It is amazing what the three little words I love you mean. Out there somewhere there is a person who cares about you. But don't wait go and find that person. Walk off the bridge. If you wait you may never meet this person. Don't let him come to you. You should go to him.
Toni Sweeney
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10-11-2005 Euna P.
I find it interesting how a single word can make people gasp in horror, but how it takes so many words to move that same person in a right way, and to flood them with a good feeling.
You are right though. 'I love you' can change someone's life forever, throw them into turmoil and doubt, flood them with feeling...and that works. I also find it odd that some people can talk all day long and never shut up, but when they want to say three words, they suddenly get larengitis. ^.^
Anyway, this was a really good poem, and I really liked reading it!
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10-07-2005 Jenna T.
I really liked this poem. You describe your emotions really well.
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10-06-2005 Heather C.
This is really good. I like it. I like what David said, "Those three words can change the world, yet not hearing them is no reason for doing what the subject in the poem did. Many loves come ones way in a lifetime. When one doen't work out, just wait patiently and an even better one will come along." It's so true. I really like this poem.
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10-05-2005 Mika L.
^^ U told me alredy what its about ^^ Nice poem tehe and umm...Mary S....whats with those...comments? Well, write more poem Jane-chan. You're a lot better than me!
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10-04-2005 Jane L.
Um... If you don;t understand this, email me and i'll tell you what its about.
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10-02-2005 David Pekrul
This is really well written, with such a tragic message. Those three words can change the world, yet not hearing them is no reason for doing what the subject in the poem did. Many loves come ones way in a lifetime. When one doen't work out, just wait patiently and an even better one will come along.
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10-02-2005 Mary -BrytEyz- Ball
Ah, which is worse? To NOT say and have meant it, or say it and not mean it? I suppose I often let looks and actions speak much of what I wish to say for fear of oversaying "it"... you know?
Oh, there's a word that needs to spelled correctly here. "cryed" should be cried. Thought you'd like to know.
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10-02-2005 Mary S.
Yes. That's all the comments I'm giving you for awhile.
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10-02-2005 Mary S.
it's nice
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10-01-2005 Jane L.
Okay... I don't know what got into me. Umm.. well i got some of the ideas from the anime full moon. I was really pissed off when i wrote this so... Oh yeah! I would really like this if it was a song
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