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Amber Smith
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cinquain
by Deone Wiley
copyright 10-12-2005


Age Rating: 7 to 127

 
This is called a "modern cinquain" which counts words instead of syllables.




Aspens
quiver gold
onto dappled shade
where puma pair nestle
sleeping.


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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07-01-2006 Jessica P.    

Cute and it created a vivid picture in my mind, this is great!
10-19-2005 Jean George    

A lovely picture created by lovely words...The poetic lilt of the softness of the 'p' sound on almost every line provides an almost hypnotic continuity. And I love the 'Aspens quiver gold', such a subtle play on words. This is a very beautiful portrait of serenity in nature and the serenity of words perfectly put together.
10-13-2005 Roger Crique    

I think you captured the chillness and quietness of nature in a few well-versed phrases. A still moment in wildlife photography is the imagery I get from this lovely poem. In your last line, I would have said, "where puma pair nestle asleep." it sounds better and provides better fluidity. But that's just my opinion...
10-12-2005 Sage B.    

Nice. My cinquains are always so weird
10-12-2005 Anthony Lane Stahlhut    

I think of David when reading this and the picture on his page. If you read this and look at that picture you really feel like your in the mountains! Thanks, Anthony
10-12-2005 Amanda Guthrie    

Oh Fall where are you? This is lovely I especialy like the puma pair.
Amanda
Visitor Reads: 327
Total Reads: 353
Comments: 6

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