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On Line
Vivien D.
Andrea P.
2 Writers

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2 Members
28 Guests

The Nemesis
by David Pekrul
copyright 10-18-2005
Contest Winner


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
This was written for Samantha H.'s contest "Vocabulary Booster"

Listen as I postulate,
The shambles of our present state,
For Satan is a reprobate,
So with my words I execrate.

For he is such a nemesis,
This baleful one we cannot miss,
Our terra firma is not his,
Although he acts as though it is.

His presence here is odious,
His accusations, captious,
He makes us lie and makes us cuss,
And do some things we can’t discuss.

He’s like a canker in our soul,
He fills our lives with pain and woe,
Vituperating what we know,
He tries to give our faith a blow.

He agitates our symmetry,
To keep us bound eternally,
But Jesus mitigates, you see,
And gave His life to set us free.


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12-14-2005 Richard Reed Jr    

Super great words for rhyming (A+) but I found those rhyme words to force the rest of the poem to sound a bit unnatural.

In real life people wouldn't say,

"Listen while I postulate", etc.


11-13-2005 Mary -BrytEyz- Ball    

I love it when more than bane quips scatter across the page. :-) Good job! I need to be more "here" instead of all the "theres" that I've been so I don't miss a contest such as this. I think it would have been fun to take part in.


10-23-2005 Tiffany Forster    

Wow.... I love this. Especially how you worked the words in, even if they were rather, umm, large. Yay for big words used correctly in a very good, and nicly rhymed poem.
-hands him a cookie-


10-19-2005 Jean George    

My gosh, David...this is very clever and not that easily done. Rhyming every line is hard enough to do with a natural flow, never mind fitting in multisyllabic words that continue the rhyme pattern but also the rhythm and metric pattern. consequently, your rhymes are near perfect and your rhythm and meter are right on. And hardest to do of all with the vocabulary challenge, the whole poem makes sense...Again, extremely cleverly written!


10-18-2005 Anthony Lane Stahlhut    

You are a worthy adversary. I enjoyed your entry! Good luck, Anthony


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