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Ok Meh- i am going to give useful and constructive comments! I don't think that "Blue" needs to be capitalized in the 1st stanza (i may be wrong- but i am trying to comment good!). You had great rhyming (i knew you can rhyme!). I don't think that you should change the rhyme scheme from ABCB to AABB in the last stanza. You should change it to something like this:
I wish there'd be a high
Place where I could fit,
Way up in the sky,
My wings and spirit
(that is ABAB instead of ABCB, but i like the rhymes you had beforehand)
Also in the 3rd stanza, there is no rhyme. I would change it to:
From the prairie to
The jungle and ocean blue,
I'd be an eagle
All the way through
And the 1st stanza doesn't rhyme either! tsk, tsk, we need some consistency here! You should put:
I wish i was a bird
And could fly in the blue
Where the clouds are luscious
And are a light(or insert color here) hue
SO NOW IT RHYMES!!!!! (all you have to do is change the lines around and all a word...) Despite my comments- it was a great poem. Loved it! i feel the same way. keep on rhyming- it's easy! (how's that 4 an awesome comment!)
So beautiful. I know how you feel, wanting to spread one's wings to take flight. To touch the clouds. It's such a wonderful poem. I could read it over and over again, without pause, and still love it.
This is a wonderful poem. I always wanted to spread my wings and fly too. I just want to fly and go into the sky! If it's warm, I wouldn't bother putting on a rain jacket, but I'd just get soaked and then mom would be like 'What on Earth have you been doing Euna?' XD I always laugh when I visualized this. The closest I've ever come to that sensation is when I'm writing, because like the sky, there are no limits to what I want to do!
Okay this is getting a little corny, so I'll stop, but this was a great write.
This is very good... Very, very good... I feel like I just want to escape sometimes too. Like if I could fly away all the problems of my like would fade away. Worry free, pain free, and nothing to hold me back. I've written many poems on the topic. Even though I know one day I will be free. One way or the other, I'll escape one day. Even if I need to wait 7 years. Till the day I fly away I'll wait. And spend time with my friends and enjoy the false hope that makes us all feel okay for awhile. Perfect in spelling and grammar. And the age rating is fitting too. This is a very inspiring poem. Great poem. Great topic. Now spread your wings... And fly away.
Welcome !
