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Descent
by Mehrina B. (Age: 13)
copyright 12-04-2005


Age Rating: 4 to 127

 
I watch as the waters of the sea
Shift and roll endlessly
Calm, but if provoked, fiery

I watch as the rays of the sun
Circle through my heaven
Circling, circling, an end it has none

I watch as the trees grow high
Striving to keep up the sky
On their strength they rely

I watch as the lion prowls
He is king, and at lesser ones growls
Over his kingdom, he roars and howls

I watch as the butterfly so gently tends
To flowers with a patience that knows no ends
It's nature, when hurt, instantly mends

I watch as fire rages
Expectations, it cages
Lives it offers, lives it wages

I watch these natures and strengths
I need to survive life’s torments
I emulate these at lengths
None help, so will start my life’s descents


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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06-22-2007 Leah G.    

Meh- this has great descriptions! I love how it expresses emotion through nature. It's very creative. It has great flow until the very end. And you also rhyme! I'm very proud of you meh. i knew you could rhyme. some of the rhymes sound a bit forced, though. like in the line "on their strength they rely." it sounds a bit awkward, but the rest of the poem makes up for it. amazing. nothing to improve. great job!
04-29-2006 Mary -BrytEyz- Ball    

Lives it offers, lives it wages...
Very profound and especially for someone of your age! Very in depth and perceptive. Keep up the good work, Mehrina... it's very good indeed.

BrytEyz
of the Commenting Crusaders
04-12-2006 Richard Reed Jr    

Ahalan!

Extremely good read. I enjoyed every moment of it.
The structure, rhyme, and rhythm are all beautiful and make it a beautiful sounding poem to my ears. Best for me was:

I watch as fire rages
Expectations, it cages
Lives it offers, lives it wages

I watch these natures and strengths
I need to survive life’s torments
I emulate these at lengths
None help, so will start my life’s descents

Thank you for sharing this.

Rich
12-17-2005 David Pekrul    

You seem to have a natural gift for writing. This is better than some I have seen by those a lot older than yourself. I'll look forward to seeing many more.
Visitor Reads: 457
Total Reads: 510
Comments: 4

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