Comment on the Diamond Sutra
by
James Shammas
(Age: 44)
copyright 11-13-2005
Age Rating: 7 to 127
cutting
clean through Maya,
it fractures your ego,
reflecting the one unbound Self,
Its pointed prism spinning the rainbow,
millions of colors pointed back
to each bright unwound soul,
the Cutter's stone,
cutting
(My first attempt at rictameter, inspired by Deone Wiley)
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Although I have no idea what this is, you have givin me a very good inclination as to what you are talking about, very good imagry. I will have to read about it to comment further, Great write, good job, thanks for sharing
You're very brave to try a new kind of poetry. I still don't know one form from another.
The whole diamond thing is really an issue, not that I can really afford to buy diamonds, but I definitely would not by diamonds from South Africa. I call them 'blood diamonds'.
On the other hand, Canada has a large diamond production, with diamonds that are some of the best in the world. And the best part is that working conditions and wages are excellent.
I really like this poem. Although the form is a bit contrite and I don't usually like to veer from my standard form of poetry, I must say that I fell in love with the depth of this poem. My sister has an issue with the whole diamond thing, you know, the exploitation of resources and manpower, etc. Immediately, I thought of her and how so many people struggle to cultivate this gem. The imagery is great and its fluidity is very smooth. Great job, Jim!
Hinduism Jim?...This is very good for a first try at a complicated type of verse. Some of these strict poetic forms end up very simplistic in meaning and awkward in phrasing, but this reads quite nicely as well as having some depth of meaning. A very intriguing poetry form this rictameter:
~~~~~~~Definition~~~~~~
The rictameter begins with a two-syllable word, and then builds each following line by adding two syllables until ten syllables is reached, then reverses until the last line which is a repeat of the first.
It is a poem of nine lines total:
1. 2 syllables
2. 4 syllables
3. 6
4. 8
5. 10
6. 8
7. 6
8. 4
9. 2 (same word as line 1)
Those are the rules in case anyone else wants to give it a try.
This is very nice. One comment. Prism has 2 syllables giving line 5 11 syllables. The rictameter does not need the center printing. It can be left margined. The diamante must be center formatted and has other restrictions. It is usually the very first try at poetry I give to my students, then the syllabic forms. There are many. If you are interested, I can post them for you to try.
I must find the rules and join in the fun. Maybe you or Deone could post them in the poetry help section under references you can post any poetic forms that are not there already! This is nice, but I have no idea whether it follows the rules or not, but I like what you wrote! Anthony
Welcome !
