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Railroad Hobos
by Deborah Thomas (Age: 49)
copyright 11-30-2005


Age Rating: 7 to 127

 
A red handkerchief tied to a stick
bobs through the eerie dense fog.
He walks the track with a sack on his back,
followed by his scruffy little dog.
He has little money and his face is all muddy,
clothes torn and tattered old rags.
But later that night, by campfire light,
he tells his old stories and brags
Of his fortunate day as he made his way
collecting donations and dregs.
With a smile on his face he has no disgrace
as he holds out his hand and begs.




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03-22-2007 Shannon W.    

This is very nice. My dad works in a dencely populated city in northern New Jersey. One day he was taking the train home and a homeless man asked him for a quarter. My didn't have any money to give him so he said no. Then when my dad turned his back the homeless man jumped in front of the train and got killed. How intence is that?
03-04-2007 Haley R.    

This is a very nice poem. I love the rhyme scheme, as well as the ending of the poem. The ending not only rhymes (I love rhyming endings) and sums up the poem (I also love endings that sum up the poem), but it also makes you think about the people on the streets begging for money...
Anyway, great job!
I can't wait to read more by you!

-Haley R.
of the CC
09-12-2006 Alysyn Bourque    

Very playful, Deborah, but with your level of talent you could have told a wonderfully powerful story, but I feel you wrote the subject off too abruptly. Though structurally well written, it was a bit anticlimactic.
12-19-2005 Richard Reed Jr    

Good Work Deb!

You said so much in so little.

In the Orient monks don't feel shamed to beg.

Good rhymes, meter and rhythm.

One of the best pieces out here.

Happy Holidays,

Rich

P.S. Out here we beg for points, but this is for real!
12-05-2005 Ernest Lozon    

Great little read about the life of a Hobo. You wrote it perfectly and told it like it is. Caught my full attention as I could visualize myself in person living this life of a Hobo as I read through the entire poem. You didn't miss a thing and I enjoyed the read very much. Good work, Ernie.
Visitor Reads: 561
Total Reads: 593
Comments: 5

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