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This story is kind of an intro to "The Rancher's Kitchen". It just got longer than I thought it was at the time.
Most ranchers have kitchens a lot like mine. Some are worse. We keep a little bit of the drugs that we've used before in case we need it again. Usually, this saves us a run to town that could mean life or death.
A typical vet call goes something like this:
"Hey, Steve, it's Jackie Moranty. How're you doing?"
"I'm doing good. What'cha got?"
"Well, it's been a tough morn. Everything is happening at once."
"I've got a goat wandering in circles, like she's looking for a place to die. My mare ran through a fence and got a good gash, she's bleeding pretty good and probably needs some stithes. The cats got in the garbage and ate a bunch of watermelon rind. I'll be cleaning kitty boxes hourly for a few days. Looks like one of the dogs got snake bit, her neck is about twice the size of her head. Last, but not least, another dog came in with a bullet hole in his head. Looks like a .22. I'm not sure that the shrapnel isn't still in there. He's got one hell of a headache, but he's acting pretty normal, well, for Rex."
"Wow, that's one hell of a day, and it's only eight o'clock in the morn."
I laugh, "Yeah, just another day in paradise."
"O.K., grab a pen and paper. Here's what you do."
"Give the goat 7cc's of Dex and 5 cc's of Penicillian, you can either go IM or SubQ, it's not going to matter, along with enzymes for the next 5 days. Assuming that she makes it that long, then give me a call if she gets worse, and we'll look at her. Once a day should be enough with that. You got any Dex?"
I know that he hears the refridgerator open and bottles rattling around.
"Yeah, it's behind the Bantamine. I saved some from when my mare went lame last."
"Good, girl. What did you do for the mare?"
"Cleaned her up pretty good with Betadine, put a little Magic Heal on her, and wrapped her leg in a compression bandage to stop the bleeding. Then I gave her a gram of Bute."
"O.K., load her up and bring her in. We'll get her stitched."
"I'll need more Bantamine while I'm there. Can you put that on my wish list?"
"You got it. O.K., the cats - Don't those cats ever sleep?"
"Only during the day when I'm not here. The rest of the time, they just raise hell and kick a chunk under it. Makes it hard to get a good night's sleep."
You can hear the smile in his voice when he says, "Figures. Let's see - go with 1 cc a piece of Pepto by mouth until they're over the shits."
"Gotcha."
"Now, what kind of snakes do you have out there?"
"Mostly bull and garters."
"We can rule out garters. This was probably a bull. Just enough poison to make her a little sick. It was a rattler, she'd be a lot dead."
"Let's go with 250 mg Clavamox for seven days, twice a day and see how she runs. You got enough Clavamox?"
"No, I think I only have about three day's worth at twice a day."
"O.K., I'll add that to your wish list."
"Should I bring Rex in with me? I've cleaned the wound, but I can't find the exit. It's starting to puss up, though."
"No, we probably won't remove the bullet anyway. Too risky. Let's just treat for infection since bullet wounds infect so easy. Keep cleaning it with Betadine twice a day and give 250 mg Cephol for 5 days, twice a day and see how he runs."
"O.K., got it. Don't need any Cephol. I've got some left over from when Pooh got attacked by coyotes. Doing good on Betadine, too."
"I'll load that mare and be there in about 1/2 hour. Thanks, Steve."
"Hey, good job of triage."
"Thanks. You think I could get my vet degree by proxy?"
"We'll see what you come up with next week and talk."
I guess that I better mention that the goat survived. A couple of days later, she was acting like a goat again. The horse didn't even flesh up, that's why I usually let the vet stitch them. I'm not very neat about it. The dog with snake bite ended up with an abcess that broke open, but wouldn't let me clean it, so it just drained all over the yard, but she's fine. The cats got over the shits the next day, but I went through 30 lbs. of kitty litter in 24 hours. We found Rex's exit wound. Once I got the Betadine all the way through it, and all the pus drained, he healed nicely, and now you can't even tell he got shot.
And, no, I never did get my "by proxy vet degree".
October, 2001
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