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Jennifer,
good emotion, vivid and honest.
Direct and to the point. There are some good rhymes here but some of them put the meter out of rhythm.
The structure is good. The couplet form makes it easy to read and easy to comprehend.
The voice of the poet comes through very nicely. I hope this is not an auto biographical poem.
Whatever, for all bad things, people and feelings in the world we can find good ones to compensate although it will require lots of effort on the part of the injured party.
Well, I sincerely hope that in some small way these comments have been of help to you in your poetry and your life.
You made two comments that really jumped out at me:
One: "I'm so tired of fighting!"
Two: "But I can't do this or believe as much as you do."
Firstly, stop fighting! God said in His word to 'cast your cares upon him'. Let Him do the fighting for you, besides, the spiritual fight is His fight, not yours. He paid the price for you, so let Him do your fighting also.
Secondly, God meets us where we are. Don't look at how 'spiritual' other people seem to be and then get discouraged because you can't "believe as much as they do". This is not a competition, it is simply you and God. He will honour the little faith you may seem to have, just relax in Him and let Him increase your faith for you.
The Christian walk is a continuous walk until we see God face to face in Heaven. We will have our ups and downs, good times and bad, but always know that God is with you, is working in your life, and has a plan for you. Don't give up!
It is always darkest before the dawn. You say that you cannot see, but the problem is only that you are looking in the wrong place. They call it God's house, but really everywhere is where God resides. Sometimes we must face our demons even if we think we are alone. We really are not, for he won't ever bring you to it, if he thought you couldn't get through it. We are tested everyday. If you saw the movie, "Passion Of The Christ" you would see that the tests sometimes can be hard. The reward is so great that the struggle will be worth it! I hope this finds you in better spirits! I love you! Anthony
I am weeping NOW. This poem says to me, "Let someone help you." Whoever it is in this poem needs to express herself WITH SOMEONE. And they are out there. Stop fighting and let them in!
Welcome !
