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Teenagers seem to strive for the same thing during their years of confusion and acne; popularity. To achieve this seemingly ‘royal’ social standing, they jump onto the endless bandwagon, set on a journey to an already settled area; joining on the latest, mindless trends. Some of these trends include books on how to increase your stupidity to guides on how to buy jeans that are three sizes too small. No matter how amazingly pointless these trends amount up to, teens will think it’s the hott thing to do. Take “me” for example…
Let me begin with my favorite MP3 player, the iPod! I just can’t get enough of this thing. As did all of my peers (I’m only friends with people who own iPods), I absolutely adored shelling out all of that greenback from my college fund to buy an Apple. It never really crossed my mind that other affordable, quality MP3 players existed. Do you know what I like best about my iPod? The scientific studies that prove that I’m going to go deaf when I’m older. Yup, those awesome ear buds are in my ears twenty-four hours a day, even when I’m in my REM cycle (Nirvana keeps me calm and off of my Prozac). There’s really nothing better than my iPod. Like, I’ve always wanted to lose one of my five senses anyway (I fear odd numbers).
It’s time for me to move on to the place where my soul is free, my online journals. Almost every night, I rush home and make a new post! I have Xanga, Myspace and Livejournal. My Xanga username is bl0nd3_pr1nc3ss21005364980_2569. I made my background hot pink and my text color lime green (to ensure that my heart and soul are legible). My daily entries usually consist of how many trips I made to the bathroom and how many “hot guys” I turned away.
Myspace is a really cool place. I can upload ten completely ridiculous pictures of my friends and I acting ‘oh so cool and lookin’ so good’, and I can even accept friend requests from hot guys in California whom I’ve never met. My parents say that they’re stalkers, but those guys think I’m hott, and they just want to comment on my Myspace.
Do you know what I love? Typing in sTiCkY cApS. It’s the latest, trend. Sure, it may take about thirty minutes to type one paragraph, but it looks so mature and awesome! What’s best about my online journals is that I can totally forget about the nearly twelve years of schooling I’ve had that I’ve been learning how to use proper English grammar and punctuation. Since I just pour out all of my deepest emotions on these things, I can’t be bothered with spelling things correctly or forming sentences that actually make sense. It’s really important that I use numbers instead of letters when I can too.
I’m simply infatuated with Starbuck’s. Coffee has got to be the most divine, palatable beverage in the universe. Some people say that most of Starbuck’s drinks barely contain any coffee, but those are just h8rs. What’s best about Starbuck’s is the fact that their small size is called “Tall”. Apparently they all missed that day in kindergarten when everyone learned about shapes and sizes. I just think that’s like so cute though! Forget that that there are tons of places to get a cup of coffee around town, Starbuck’s is the place, yo. Maybe Starbuck’s is some sort of slang word for money. After all, it does have the word “bucks” in it. Or maybe it’s a term meaning “let’s rob you blind” in Italian (since they’re so genuinely Italian, I know right?). Everyone knows that quality products are those that you empty your wallet out for something that’s less than worth being called “Tall”.
If you really want to be cool like me, you’re only allowed to sip your Starbuck’s while wearing ‘destroyed jeans’. Abercrombie is totally my favorite store. I hope to get a job there someday (after I quit my job at Hollister). However, I have to stay in shape because they only hire size zero girls who have that Hollywood look about them. Whenever I get my paycheck, I rush to Abercrombie to buy another pair of destroyed jeans. Sure, it may be December, and they may cost about $70.00, but they’re so stylish and chic. Who in the world wouldn’t want sizable holes in the back pockets of their jeans? Yes, buying pre-ripped and over-bleached jeans for more than the price of regular jeans is really what any smart consumer would do.
Nearly every generation of teenagers have had some sort of goal to gain popularity. However, the demand of popularity increases generation after generation, and the crazy things people will do to be cool gets even more idiotic and pointless as time goes on. It’s unfortunate that so many teens like “me” are so materialistic, self-centered, and close-minded. Although, it’s understandable why so many people would want to fit in. It must be because the “in crowd” is so intelligent. There are so many other things that I could mention that make “me” p0pul4r and trendy, but my friends and I are just so Paris Hilton “hott” that we’d rather not reveal our ‘dirty little secrets’.
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