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Round and round for even more fun, maybe a daydream, a frolick in one's imagination. The rhyme and meter worked well to convey this poem's playfulness.
This is great! It starts with a catchy name and an innocent walk, pulling the reader into the dream. Just as you get into the dream, you feel the jolt, bringing you back to reality!
Your rhyme and rhythm on this one are superb. Then that ending was really great! That vicious circle, the de javu, and the dream becomes reality! You really outdid yourself with this one! Great job!
A dream or a glimpse of things to come? I love how this plays out to keep the reader guessing and then still has them guessing at the end. What is it real or fake... will you see what you saw or will it be different. To play with ideas like these are awesome. There is nothing dull about this write or subject. I think this is a great opening title to a story. Think about it!
~~~ Tammy F. Of The Commenting Crusaders ~~~
You watch too many of those Saturday morning sci-fi movies. This is a very well crafted poem and the reader is caught up in the drama of it! Great job on this write. I too believe it is one of your many best! Anthony
Fantastic imagery, well versed and fascinating flow! I could not help of thinking (Edgar A. Poe). Like sand pouring through one's fingers, the fluidity took off, no bumps or bruises! I was honestly amazed at how the imagery transported me to see that creature that you saw. But the best part is how you leave us all hanging in mid air, like Michael Jordan's signature move, prior to dunking the basketball. I will be thinking about this one for a little while, trying to decipher the end! Absolutely one of the best poems you've written, my friend! Kudos to you!!!!
This is a fantastic piece consisting of great imagery that caught my attention and interest throughout the entire read. Very well written and easy to follow. The rhythm and rhyme used was superb and the whole story was excellent. I loved the way you ended it, as it places thoughts in to the readers mind as to whether or not your still dreaming or your dream has become a reality. A masterpiece from my point of view. Excellent job on this piece. Ernie.
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