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Maverick March
by
Jordan Screws
(Age: 21)
copyright 12-06-2005
Age Rating: 7 to 127
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I feel like I am in a confusing place
What should I think, feel, or do?
If everyone else has a happy face,
Surely I should have one too?
Everyone wears the same clothes,
Everyone listens to the same beats,
Everyone watches the same shows,
But no one hardly wears cleats!
Does it matter about the brand of my car?
Do I need a trendy shirt to fit in?
Will blending in really get me that far,
Or should I break with my trendy brethren?
Everyone else marches to the beat
Of celebrity glitz and fashion,
But I have my own goals to meet
And I pursue them with a passion!
I make my own wordly path
Free of the "popular" crew,
They study Teen while I study math
I will be me and you can too!
I'm going to buck the crowd,
I don't need MTV!
I want the world to hear me loud,
I am going to be me!
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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03-24-2007 Christina Johnson
okay this one isn't about March madness or MTV here it's about Music here so get over it or fashion it's about being you and I mean you need some serious help. I like this poem and basically you need to get a life. I mean gosh was you going through a phase in school.
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03-22-2007 Samantha P.
Yes this sounds like me. I just love bieng myself and I love that you think you should be yourself to. I do have a question, is glitz a word? it sounds a bit akward in the poem if it is. I guess you dont have to agree and sometimes things that stick out in a poem make it individual or help it sometimes. Remember to always be original which I'm sure you will have no problem doing
Samantha
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10-14-2006 Mike Macdonald
The second to last line stuck out to me; it should really be reconsidered. Remember to prefer the best word over the best rhyme.
The content's great! You word this situation very nicely and with a smoother rhythm than most of the rhyming poetry I've read on here. Not saying it's perfect, but you seem to have a better understanding of rhythm than the average schmoe.
Didn't know you wrote any poems.
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09-08-2006 Alysyn Bourque
Jordan, I have to agree with Jean about line 8...in fact, if you read it without the second stanza altogether it actually improves the feel of the poem in completion.
Otherwise, it's well displayed and allows the reader to access the dismay you feel being in the midst of a culture which has lost it's collective identity in a daily wash of fashion do's and don't's.
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01-02-2006 Lonnie Kornoely
I have to agree with Chelsea. There is a good flow, I wouldn't say aggressive but I would say to the point to give a good pitcher. Good write.
Lonnie
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12-31-2005 Chelsea Armstrong
I like the way your words flow. Aggressive, yet smoothe to the eyes. A very exciting, yet truthful work of art indeed...keep up the great work...*smiles* Check out some of my stuff if you get a chance....I think you and I can relate in some ways and in others not many would be able to understand...great job
~Chelsea~
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12-16-2005 Richard Reed Jr
Thanks Jean (George) for taking the words outta' my mouth.
I would try to improve the meter. look for different phrases or rearrange word order or change rhyme words. Whatta' you think?
That not-with-standing, it was a good read with lots of impact.
I enjoyed it.
Happy Holidays,
Rich
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12-12-2005 Haley R.
Hey, Jordan,
I love this poem, and in my opinion, it describes you well! Keep going your own flow! Here's a quote I heard a while ago that I think suits you well:
When it comes to rules, go with the flow; When it comes to principal, STAND LIKE A ROCK!!!
Or something along those lines.....Anyway, great job! I can't wait to read more by you!
Awsome Job, Jordan-Chan!
~haley
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12-09-2005 James Shammas
Assertive, direct and well put.
Jim
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12-08-2005 Brian Dickenson
Well done, it's heartening to see that some are not slaves to the dictates of the fashion world, which in actually is a hollow shallow money grubbing industry, preying on peoples self doubt.
As Jean has said, it does stumble a tad, but it still carries the message.
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12-07-2005 Jean George
Nicely done Jordon...This is an uplifting poetic anthem that you have written...It is nice to see that you have given yourself permission to be different and self-expressive...Hopefully others will do the same.... The style is upbeat and your rhyme and rhythm patterns are quite good and to the point. The one flaw that stands out a bit to me is the second verse. It is weaker than the others and the last line is somewhat forced, it also seems to be used for the rhyme value only and thusly sounds a bit off key, the examples used are a little mundane and seem to trivialize a bit the point of the poem...The rest of the poem is more compelling in making your point and deftly brings out the idea that diversity can only make us a stronger, better and ultimately much more interesting society.
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12-06-2005 David Pekrul
You've presented a great message and in a poetic fashion. I've never tried to fit the trend and I've done okay. I hope others get the message "Just be yourself".
Good write.
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