Twas The Night
by
Anthony Lane Stahlhut
(Age: 47)
copyright 12-17-2005
Age Rating: 18 to 127
Picture Credits:
(This is adult humor and if your easily offended, Please don't read this. It was written to give adults a laugh and it gets pretty graphic in some parts!)
'Twas the night before Christmas, when I arrived at the house.
I opened the door and cried out to my spouse.
Then next to the fireplace what did I see?
My beautiful wife in a brand new nightie.
The children were nestled all snug in their bed."
"Won't you come over here, big boy " she said
Before she knew it I spun her in a snap.
Onto her knees and gave her ass a slap.
We got on the table and made such a clatter.
Once in the throws of passion what did it matter?
I tried to hold back, not known as a flash.
Wanted to make it a marathon, instead of a dash!
I held on to her breasts and her to my pole.
We fell off the table and started to roll.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear?
A whip and a collar, what are you up to dear?
She buckled on the collar and slapped me with the whip.
Squeezed out some ultra glide to make sure it would slip.
More rapid than eagles the first time I came.
She whistled and shouted and called out my name.
Oh darling I love you, make me your vixen.
I'm coming, I'm coming. Hope the kids don't listen!
On top of the couch, up against the wall,
didn't leave out a place. Did it on them all.
As I plunged in and out, between her thighs.
She moaned and groaned, rolled back her eyes.
All over the house ,every room we went through,
We used lots of toys and ultra glide, too!
Then in a twinkling, I'm such a doof.
I activated the alarm, a siren on the roof.
As I pulled back my head and turned around,
down the stairs I heard coming a recognizable sound.
The children were coming, the sound of their foot.
We were grabbing our clothes, where were the toys put?
A bundle of toys, we flung in a sack.
When our youngest walked in, his name is Zack.
His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry.
What he almost saw, I tell you was scary.
His attention was drawn to a present and bow.
Good thing he didn't see the whip and dildo.
He grabbed the present, opened it with his teeth.
Almost slipped on the ultra glide beneath.
He had a smile on his face, his diaper was smelly.
He loved his new toy, covered in KY jelly.
I hid my chubby, tried to compose myself,
then saw the vibrator we left on the shelf.
The twinkle in my eye as I started seeing red.
Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.
We didn't say a word and it seemed to work.
then noticed her stockings and started to smirk.
When lost in passion, you never know,
where the clothes land, where they will go.
We tried to act cool, to not to make a tissle.
As I grabbed a towel,to hide the meat whistle.
And as she saw me, put it out of sight.
She said," Merry Christmas to all, Wait till later tonight!"
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LOL i really needed a laugh and this is definatly the poem for laughing you're making me dread that my son will get older now and i NEVER thought of you with collars and whips very different i must say....very good poem everything rhymes well i must say ENJOY your christmas
This is a great christmas poem. Lol I really like it this is really good for a few laughs. I love the form hot it fits in with the night before Christmas and all the fun. Great write.
You kinky sun of a gun! You pervert, amoral, horny Texan! What did your wife do with the KY Jelly? You have been whipped! So you like domination, huh? for me to get caught in the act of fornication by my kids was the ultimate dread for me! I think I would have died! Good humorous write!
*Covers face, laughing* OMG, my face is red. I just HAD to read that at work. This is HILARIOUS anthony! I love you!! OMG!
The rhyme was so great...I can't believe you could stop from laughing long enough to make sense. I admire that. You're a far more patient man than I am (then again, I'm not a man O.o LMAO)
Oh, my God! You had me cracking up on the floor, you big boy!! This is f%#cking hilarious! My wife's in trouble, now. I'm getting it out of my system before the big day-- that means this week!! I'll let you know how it goes!
I'm still cracking up!!!
I swore I would never change a diaper again, but you have made me a lier! David ,I love you and leave it to you to get me into more shit!(it was a smelly diaper)I don't know if I do it on purpose to make sure you comment or what!(Its the or what, because I kan'T speel! Thank you my friend, please don't give up hope. Even though my wife says I'm hopeless! Anthony
I don't know if this is fantasy or reality, but if it is reality, well, lucky you!
Would you believe that even with all the fun and rollicking, I managed to find a spelling error?
The word 'dipper' should be spelled 'diaper'.
Oh, man, I've got to get a life!!
Well Anthony, what can I say. To be honest, not a lot until I stop laughing.
What a picture you paint. My thoughts are my own,,,,,,lol.
Needles to say, I like this, good wholesome fun.
Having just got back from a weekend with an old lady friend I find I can relate to this even more.
Also we can't go back to her local supermarket....lol. Those trolleys are fun.
Brian.
Welcome !
