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Fallen Messiah
by Tiffany Forster (Age: 21)
copyright 01-20-2006


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
And everyone is holding their breath
Waiting for the Messiah with black wings
And I can hear them all
Screaming for mercy
The third war is coming
The lines have been drawn
And the sides are chosen
For the rest of time
Black is no longer black
And white is now grey
The angels have fallen
And fate is running
The future of life
Lies in a mortals grasp
Angels and demons together
Battle for the soul of power
To win this last war
Would be to win Eternal Life
And to the loser
There is no mercy
So wait with the others
All holding their breath
Screaming for mercy
From the Fallen Messiah.



((I have always wanted to post this poem, it was the first poem I wrote that didn't rhyme, so it has always been a bit special for me, even if the material was a bit, umm, dark. ^.^ This is based on Kaori Yukis Angel Sanctuary manga and anime, so I thought the the Anime poetry contest was a good reason to post it! ^.^ Anyway...thats it... Cheers!))


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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03-09-2006 Frederick Van Kirk    

Your prose is very melodious, the cadence and flow of the words gives the appearance of rhyme. I much appreciate your author's note, though I never give any myself. I am of the school that feels that the audience is just as responsible as the author for a good piece of writing. If one or the other is not up to it the work fails. Your prose and ad lib stage directions are a very bright star on a velvet background. If you have a work where you combine the two I would very much like to read it. Thank you for your enthusiastic comments about my work to. Fred
02-10-2006 Mike Macdonald    

Something that many would apply to today's struggles. Initially, that's what I thought it was 'til I read your footnote. Now I have to decide whether a poem rooted in anime is better than one rooted in political statements, or vice-versa. ^_^

I keed, I keed. I'm glad that you put your notes at the end rather than the beginning. I'm not fond of author's explanations, but if they feel the need to do so I prefer they wait 'til I'm done reading it. As for the poem itself, it's worded well and I feel it's one of your better poems, but a revision might be in order just for the sake of a little tidying up. You could start with this line that lost me a little:

"Would to be winning life"

Keep at it, keep learning,
Keep trying new things.
You show more promise than
Other 'net poets I've seen.
Visitor Reads: 362
Total Reads: 398
Comments: 2

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